Katy McKenna Raymond  
Personal blog of christian writer Katy McKenna Raymond in Kansas City, Missouri

Personal blog of christian
writer & fallible mom
Katy McKenna Raymond
in Kansas City, Missouri


Katy is represented by
Greg Johnson at
WordServe Literary

Read more Katy at
LateBoomer.net

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Where Is Dave Barry When We Need Him?

You know how my buddy Dave Barry is always saying, “Hey! That would make a great name for a rock group!”

He, of course, with a group of his author friends like Stephen King and Amy Tan, is a musician with a band called “The Rock Bottom Remainders,” an excellent name for a rock group if I’ve ever heard one.

When I found out I had a brain tumor (years ago), I sent him a note. He didn’t answer me that time (although I do have a handwritten postcard from him framed on my desk), but I still think the name of my particular tumor made a humdinger of a fantastic name for an up and coming band: “The Acoustic Neuromas.”

In fact, I tend to have exotic diseases and illnesses with the kind of names that lend themselves well to nearly all branches of pop culture. Right now, I’m proud to say I’ve evidently got me a strong case of Trigeminal Neuralgia. If “Spinal Tap” can make it, don’t you think my disorder can?

Then there’s Doug, the poor dear. He actually believed—-hoped, perhaps—that he had at least a strained rotator cuff. It sure did seem like he might, from the symptoms he described. So he went to the doctor today with, I just have to be honest here, delusions of grandeur.

“What would Dave say about ‘The Rotator Cuffs?’” he asked before the doctor called him in. “Do you think I’ve got a chance?”

“Possible,” I said, “but don’t set your expectations too high.”

The doctor examined him and delivered the terrible news. “Your rotator cuff is perfectly fine. What I believe you have is…well…” The man looked at his shoes, those crazy plastic ones medical people wear. He seemed nervous, embarrassed even.

“What, doctor? We can handle it,” I said, “You can tell us.”

He looked up, with true sympathy in his eyes. “Um…you’ve got bursitis.”

Do they even still MAKE bursitis?

I laughed till I cried, thinking what a truly horrible name “Bursitis” would make for a rock group. And then it hit me. I remembered all too well what happens next with geezers who come down with bursitis.

“What?” Doug asked, his hopes all but dashed.

“Pleurisy.”

My stuff’s bad, but at least it has star appeal.

Posted by Katy on 05/19/08 at 11:47 PM
Fallible Comments...
  1. Oh, Katy, Katy, Katy. I feel guilty for laughing at anyone's health problems. (BTW, I've had bursitis in both my shoulder and in my hip. It's not funny!) Yet I cannot help but laugh when you write it the way you do. Have you ever thought of trying to take over Erma Bombeck's vacated spot as the queen of humor? I think you already have a book here from among your blog posts.

    My sympathy to Doug, even if he doesn't have the right ailment for a rock group.

    Robin
    Posted by Robin  on  05/20/08  at  12:24 AM
  2. I agree with Robin. You should take on a job as a writer-comedian. Even a doctor's trip sounds funny when you write about it. I pray for yours and Doug's health -- though you never know what band name will come up from this.
    Posted by Gracie  on  05/20/08  at  01:01 AM
  3. I think Bursitis would be a great name for a dude ranch...
    Posted by Christa  on  05/20/08  at  09:30 PM
  4. That's funny. You really had a brain tumor? Wow. That's not so funny. Glad you're still around to make us laugh at your husband's expense...I'm sure he is too.
    Posted by Cathy West  on  05/20/08  at  10:41 PM
  5. I don't know whether to laugh or cry with this one!
    Posted by mandy  on  05/21/08  at  02:06 PM
  6. Robin--Your comment thrilled me, seriously. I have put together several book proposals based on various collections of blog entries, but I haven't really pursued finding a publisher. And I had NOT put together a collection of humor entries. Hmmm. Now I have an agent. Maybe she can help me figure out my life!! :)

    Gracie--Thank you for the prayers! The only bad thing about good health is that NO GOOD NAMES for rock bands come out of it.... ;)

    Christa--You are SO RIGHT.

    Cathy--Yeah. Brain tumor, eight years ago removed. Deaf in right ear as a result. Perhaps humor impaired, too. Jury's still out on that one! :)

    Mandy--Please laugh! We are wasting no tears on this stuff....
    Posted by Katy  on  05/21/08  at  03:57 PM
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