Well, Then. She’s Certainly Not A Homophobe

Sometimes, I just don't know where I fit in.

I belong to a really great online fiction writers group, filled to the brim with wonderful Christians. It's inspiring to read their discussions about how they would never say "Oh, my God!" either in their personal lives or through one of their novel's characters. Similarly, the initials OMG are never found when they pull random spoons from their alphabet soup.

These folks write mostly for the CBA (Christian Booksellers Association) rather than the ABA (American Booksellers Association), and the general consensus is that readers in the CBA market are very particular about appropriate word use.

A recent discussion included a reference to Margaret Graham's book "Mercy Me!" The octogenarian author somehow managed to outlive the CBA powers-that-be which, just a few short years ago, apparently would not have allowed such a title.

I had always thought I wanted to write for the CBA. My target audience for my novel--I think--is Christians who just haven't made the grade. Imperfect people with long-term problems that rarely get fixed the first time they pray about it. I want people to read my stuff and feel hopeful for themselves, even if they've screwed up big-time.

Although I doubt I can say "screw" in the CBA.

The thing is, I'm not living a CBA kind of life. Doug and I even have an expression for some of the stuff that gets said and done around here. It's a joke, really--at least, it always makes us laugh. One of us does something iffy and the other one says, "That is SO not CBA!"

I'm spending a lot of time and energy these days with my mother, a genuine dyed-in-the-wool ABA character. How can I hang with someone like her and not end up writing for the ABA?

Yesterday, my sister and I were trying to figure out her bank balance. She hadn't written down a deposit and we couldn't find her receipt. She told us a confused and confusing story about her encounter with the bank teller, in an effort to explain why she hadn't handled the transaction well. She couldn't help her confusion, she said, because the teller's physical appearance was so distracting.

"It' not my fault," Mom said. "I just love her boobs so much, I can't think straight."

OMG!

See what I mean? If you were me, would you be able to write for the CBA?

Posted by Katy on 01/30/05 at 11:43 AM

Fallible Comments...

OMG, how un-PC!

"That is so NOT CBA" is an absolute riot. Since you are so determined to lift my little gems over at that place where I scribble, I don't suppose you'll mind my pulling this little beauty out on occasion and taking it for a test ride. Looks like it has excellent fuel economy and will get great mileage.
-----
Posted by Michael O'Connor on 01/30/05 at 09:06 PM
I had the word "screwed" as in "screwed up" in a ms and it got changed to "messed up." How silly is that.

And your mom cracks me up!!! Who would say such a thing? Hubby's grandmother used to say things like, "Why is that waitress so fat?" really loud in front of the waitress. We need more characters like that....screwed up characters...I just couldn't resist.
Posted by relevantgirl on 01/30/05 at 10:21 PM
Those discerning readers who are Christians who have or have not "made the grade" (the latter at least arguably constituting all Christians not yet on the Farther Shore) are likely in no hurry to get their fiction at a Christian outlet anyway. This has less to do with salacious content than with wanting good reading. Let's face it, most "Christian Fiction" is awful. Cookie-cutter characters, formula plots, no genuine suspense, the outcome predictable by the very fact it is shelved in the store that it is. Ever find Walker Percy in a Christian outlet? Flannery O'Connor? Hell, there's few enough stores stocking Chesterton.
Fact is, you'll as likely "up-grade" more readers in a secular market. Not to mention exposing others to the fact that there's a grade to be made in the first place.
Posted by BobW on 01/30/05 at 10:51 PM
LOL You're too funny. :o)
Posted by Hope on 01/31/05 at 01:53 PM
Sorry, but I find most of the CBA publications
booooring... There is one about pioneer quilts that was a series that was sooo good.
But mostly, I cannot get through a CBA novel.
There are many writers who manage to write
a good story but do not need to include a lot
of swear words or x-rated material. If the words or material are integeral to the character I don't mind so much. But usually
those books are about serial killers and I don't need to read that for pleasure, I can just open up the newspaper, can't I? You mother sounds just like my mother in law. As people age, their inhibitions drops, and they are liable to say things that their brain would have censored ten years back. But it sure makes life funny.
Posted by Candace Pfau on 01/31/05 at 03:01 PM
Hi, everybody! Off topic, but you should see the SHOCKING and completely unpredicted snow falling in Kansas City! Not one flake was forecasted, and by noon, we may have nine inches in my part of town. Sheesh! (That was SO not CBA...)

The more widely I read within the CBA, the more I ferret out some excellent writers, ones I wouldn't mind emulating one little bit, if it's possible for me to rise to their level.

I'm kind of kidding about having a CBA heart with an ABA life, but only kind of! :) I really am struggling with knowing which market to write for. If I keep ending the bulk of my sentences with prepositions, I may not be writing for any market at all.....
Posted by Katy Raymond on 01/31/05 at 03:11 PM
That's so KC...they forecast snow, and you get none. They don't forecast it, and you get 9 inches! We've only got about 3-4 inches here, but it's supposed to keep falling today. My presentation out of town was cancelled (yeah!) because they said the roads east of here are so bad! (PS...You totally have an ABA life, and I'm right there with you, with my big boobs and all!He..he!!)
Posted by Bridget on 01/31/05 at 04:43 PM
My whole life is SO not CBA! I know what you mean though !
Posted by Tina on 01/31/05 at 09:30 PM
Katy, when you've accepted the basic premise that everything "secular" can be made sacred, you don't have to worry about who's heart will open. I think the sinners and the "saved" both need this message...

_"I simply argue that the Cross should be raised at the center of the marketplace as well as on the steeple of the church.

"I am recovering the claim that Jesus
was not crucified in a cathedral between two candles; but on a cross between two thieves;
on the towns? garbage heap; at a crossroad,
so cosmopolitan they had to write his title in
Hebrew, Latin and Greek . . .

"At the kind of place where cynics talk smut, and thieves curse, and soldiers gamble. Because that is where He died.
And that is what He died about.
That is where church-men ought to be
and what churchmen ought to be about."_
?George McLeod
Posted by Mick on 01/31/05 at 10:56 PM
Thanks, Bridgie and Tina!

Mick, I do accept the premise and I love the quote. Thank you for sharing it here. I will let these ideas work their way into my thinking and see how God uses them to direct me...
Posted by Katy Raymond on 02/01/05 at 04:30 PM
I just love this Blog. :)
Posted by timsamoff on 02/01/05 at 06:50 PM
SO funny!! I do understand your dilemma. I too am quite unclear as to where I really fit in. Just a year ago I was a Baptist, piano playing, Sunday School teacher. Actually, I was a very unhappy Baptist, piano playing, Sunday School teacher. Now I'm a very happy, non-attender of church who has a deep, fulfilling relationship with God. I feel good about that. But, I just don't fit neatly into anyone's box. I guess that's okay...

Oh and to answer your question...absolutely not as evidenced by my love of your mother's comment :-)
Posted by Deb on 02/02/05 at 02:53 PM
Tim, So. Do you mean like this ENTIRE blog, or this particular blog entry? Either way, I'm honored... :)

Deb, Wow! That's a lot of changes in a year's time...I'm glad you're happy with the present state of affairs. Maybe we could start a genre of fiction or creative non-fiction written by misfit Christians who openly enjoy the nutty comments made by ladies my kids call "nasty mamas." Now THERE'S an idea for a genre!
Posted by Katy Raymond on 02/03/05 at 02:39 PM
Katy, this post was absolutely priceless! You've found the courage to actually put into words what most of us CBA-wanna-bes merely think. It's a tough call, and an even tougher sell. I guess we hang tough, write our hearts, and the stories will find their proper home. It's all in His timing and His ways, right?

But the part about your mom made me LAUGH OUT LOUD (LOL just wasn't emphatic enough here!). She sounds like a real hoot, someone to bring a bit of levity to heavy days!

Thanks for sharing, both, your heart and your mom!
Posted by Staci on 02/08/05 at 11:43 PM

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Personal blog of christian writer & fallible mom Katy McKenna Raymond in Kansas City, Missouri Katy is represented by Greg Johnson at WordServe Literary Read more Katy at LateBoomer.net Follow Katy on Twitter Follow Katy on Facebook 123 Recent Posts Try Becoming Brenda Starr Off Beat Scattered That’s It So I’ve Finally Signed With An Agent. Now What? The Spoon Sciatica Sweetheart A Woman’s Train of Thought Has No Caboose However much we own, we are all still living on borrowed time After all, when restaurants shrink portions, they don’t shrink prices. As with everything in life, balance is key. Slow down, you move too fast… Yeah, I know. I have issues. Search Advanced Search Syndicate Login E me at katy @ ngenius.com	Well, Then. She’s Certainly Not A Homophobe Sometimes, I just don't know where I fit in. I belong to a really great online fiction writers group, filled to the brim with wonderful Christians. It's inspiring to read their discussions about how they would never say "Oh, my God!" either in their personal lives or through one of their novel's characters. Similarly, the initials OMG are never found when they pull random spoons from their alphabet soup. These folks write mostly for the CBA (Christian Booksellers Association) rather than the ABA (American Booksellers Association), and the general consensus is that readers in the CBA market are very particular about appropriate word use. A recent discussion included a reference to Margaret Graham's book "Mercy Me!" The octogenarian author somehow managed to outlive the CBA powers-that-be which, just a few short years ago, apparently would not have allowed such a title. I had always thought I wanted to write for the CBA. My target audience for my novel--I think--is Christians who just haven't made the grade. Imperfect people with long-term problems that rarely get fixed the first time they pray about it. I want people to read my stuff and feel hopeful for themselves, even if they've screwed up big-time. Although I doubt I can say "screw" in the CBA. The thing is, I'm not living a CBA kind of life. Doug and I even have an expression for some of the stuff that gets said and done around here. It's a joke, really--at least, it always makes us laugh. One of us does something iffy and the other one says, "That is SO not CBA!" I'm spending a lot of time and energy these days with my mother, a genuine dyed-in-the-wool ABA character. How can I hang with someone like her and not end up writing for the ABA? Yesterday, my sister and I were trying to figure out her bank balance. She hadn't written down a deposit and we couldn't find her receipt. She told us a confused and confusing story about her encounter with the bank teller, in an effort to explain why she hadn't handled the transaction well. She couldn't help her confusion, she said, because the teller's physical appearance was so distracting. "It' not my fault," Mom said. "I just love her boobs so much, I can't think straight." OMG! See what I mean? If you were me, would you be able to write for the CBA? Posted by Katy on 01/30/05 at 11:43 AM Fallible Comments... OMG, how un-PC! "That is so NOT CBA" is an absolute riot. Since you are so determined to lift my little gems over at that place where I scribble, I don't suppose you'll mind my pulling this little beauty out on occasion and taking it for a test ride. Looks like it has excellent fuel economy and will get great mileage. ----- Posted by Michael O'Connor on 01/30/05 at 09:06 PM I had the word "screwed" as in "screwed up" in a ms and it got changed to "messed up." How silly is that. And your mom cracks me up!!! Who would say such a thing? Hubby's grandmother used to say things like, "Why is that waitress so fat?" really loud in front of the waitress. We need more characters like that....screwed up characters...I just couldn't resist. Posted by relevantgirl on 01/30/05 at 10:21 PM Those discerning readers who are Christians who have or have not "made the grade" (the latter at least arguably constituting all Christians not yet on the Farther Shore) are likely in no hurry to get their fiction at a Christian outlet anyway. This has less to do with salacious content than with wanting good reading. Let's face it, most "Christian Fiction" is awful. Cookie-cutter characters, formula plots, no genuine suspense, the outcome predictable by the very fact it is shelved in the store that it is. Ever find Walker Percy in a Christian outlet? Flannery O'Connor? Hell, there's few enough stores stocking Chesterton. Fact is, you'll as likely "up-grade" more readers in a secular market. Not to mention exposing others to the fact that there's a grade to be made in the first place. Posted by BobW on 01/30/05 at 10:51 PM LOL You're too funny. :o) Posted by Hope on 01/31/05 at 01:53 PM Sorry, but I find most of the CBA publications booooring... There is one about pioneer quilts that was a series that was sooo good. But mostly, I cannot get through a CBA novel. There are many writers who manage to write a good story but do not need to include a lot of swear words or x-rated material. If the words or material are integeral to the character I don't mind so much. But usually those books are about serial killers and I don't need to read that for pleasure, I can just open up the newspaper, can't I? You mother sounds just like my mother in law. As people age, their inhibitions drops, and they are liable to say things that their brain would have censored ten years back. But it sure makes life funny. Posted by Candace Pfau on 01/31/05 at 03:01 PM Hi, everybody! Off topic, but you should see the SHOCKING and completely unpredicted snow falling in Kansas City! Not one flake was forecasted, and by noon, we may have nine inches in my part of town. Sheesh! (That was SO not CBA...) The more widely I read within the CBA, the more I ferret out some excellent writers, ones I wouldn't mind emulating one little bit, if it's possible for me to rise to their level. I'm kind of kidding about having a CBA heart with an ABA life, but only kind of! :) I really am struggling with knowing which market to write for. If I keep ending the bulk of my sentences with prepositions, I may not be writing for any market at all..... Posted by Katy Raymond on 01/31/05 at 03:11 PM That's so KC...they forecast snow, and you get none. They don't forecast it, and you get 9 inches! We've only got about 3-4 inches here, but it's supposed to keep falling today. My presentation out of town was cancelled (yeah!) because they said the roads east of here are so bad! (PS...You totally have an ABA life, and I'm right there with you, with my big boobs and all!He..he!!) Posted by Bridget on 01/31/05 at 04:43 PM My whole life is SO not CBA! I know what you mean though ! Posted by Tina on 01/31/05 at 09:30 PM Katy, when you've accepted the basic premise that everything "secular" can be made sacred, you don't have to worry about who's heart will open. I think the sinners and the "saved" both need this message... _"I simply argue that the Cross should be raised at the center of the marketplace as well as on the steeple of the church. "I am recovering the claim that Jesus was not crucified in a cathedral between two candles; but on a cross between two thieves; on the towns? garbage heap; at a crossroad, so cosmopolitan they had to write his title in Hebrew, Latin and Greek . . . "At the kind of place where cynics talk smut, and thieves curse, and soldiers gamble. Because that is where He died. And that is what He died about. That is where church-men ought to be and what churchmen ought to be about."_ ?George McLeod Posted by Mick on 01/31/05 at 10:56 PM Thanks, Bridgie and Tina! Mick, I do accept the premise and I love the quote. Thank you for sharing it here. I will let these ideas work their way into my thinking and see how God uses them to direct me... Posted by Katy Raymond on 02/01/05 at 04:30 PM I just love this Blog. :) Posted by timsamoff on 02/01/05 at 06:50 PM SO funny!! I do understand your dilemma. I too am quite unclear as to where I really fit in. Just a year ago I was a Baptist, piano playing, Sunday School teacher. Actually, I was a very unhappy Baptist, piano playing, Sunday School teacher. Now I'm a very happy, non-attender of church who has a deep, fulfilling relationship with God. I feel good about that. But, I just don't fit neatly into anyone's box. I guess that's okay... Oh and to answer your question...absolutely not as evidenced by my love of your mother's comment :-) Posted by Deb on 02/02/05 at 02:53 PM Tim, So. Do you mean like this ENTIRE blog, or this particular blog entry? Either way, I'm honored... :) Deb, Wow! That's a lot of changes in a year's time...I'm glad you're happy with the present state of affairs. Maybe we could start a genre of fiction or creative non-fiction written by misfit Christians who openly enjoy the nutty comments made by ladies my kids call "nasty mamas." Now THERE'S an idea for a genre! Posted by Katy Raymond on 02/03/05 at 02:39 PM Katy, this post was absolutely priceless! You've found the courage to actually put into words what most of us CBA-wanna-bes merely think. It's a tough call, and an even tougher sell. I guess we hang tough, write our hearts, and the stories will find their proper home. It's all in His timing and His ways, right? But the part about your mom made me LAUGH OUT LOUD (LOL just wasn't emphatic enough here!). She sounds like a real hoot, someone to bring a bit of levity to heavy days! Thanks for sharing, both, your heart and your mom! Posted by Staci on 02/08/05 at 11:43 PM Page 1 of 1 pages Commenting is not available in this weblog entry. Next entry: So Many Cults, So Little Time Previous entry: Mercy and Truth << Back to main


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Well, Then. She’s Certainly Not A Homophobe

Personal blog of christian
writer & fallible mom
Katy McKenna Raymond
in Kansas City, Missouri