Katy McKenna Raymond  
Personal blog of christian writer Katy McKenna Raymond in Kansas City, Missouri

Personal blog of christian
writer & fallible mom
Katy McKenna Raymond
in Kansas City, Missouri


Katy is represented by
Greg Johnson at
WordServe Literary

Read more Katy at
LateBoomer.net

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Unto Ash We Shall Return

I’ve spent the past two Ash Wednesdays at the hospital with my mom. I wouldn’t remember that at all, of course, except for the ashes.

Until two years ago, it had been a long time since my forehead had received—along with my brothers and sisters in Christ—the sooty sign of the cross, the symbol of our common repentance, humility, and mortality. I missed it. So much so that when Mom and I received ashes together in the hour of her serious physical need, it felt like communion to me. Both times, she seemed to rally after the anointing, although she might claim to have had no interest in the procedure whatsoever.

It looks like Mom may avoid the hospital this time around, but I will seek out ashes just the same. I’ve had about all the Mardi Gras trinkets and baubles and beads one girl should be allowed without a good dose of ashes to balance things out.

I miss Lent, too. Yeah, you know what I’m talkin’ about. The 40-day period leading up to Easter when Christians, in some significant way that might only have meaning to themselves and God, separate themselves from some habit or desire or privilege that just *might* be keeping them from a closer walk with the Savior.

Giving up something for Lent is NOT about trying to work my way to heaven. That part of my destiny has been completely accomplished by Jesus’s death on the cross, His resurrection, and my acceptance of His gift. The way I look at good works is this: they’re good for everything BUT getting me into heaven.

I can earn no points with God by giving up something for Lent. Fortunately, I don’t need points. The price God required as payment for my sin has been entirely paid, by Someone Else, on my behalf.

Lent, however, serves as an opportunity. It’s a time when I can take an honest look at myself, my predilections, my stuck-in-a-rut way of living, and the selfish way in which I often relate to other people, and re-evaluate.

What if I could make a bigger difference in the world if I didn’t spend so much time on the Internet? Or so much time absorbed in (dear Lord, is it really on THREE NIGHTS this week?) American Idol?

A study came out last fall in which Internet addiction was compared to alchohol and gambling addictions. Supposedly one in eight Americans exhibits symptoms of an unreasonable attraction to the Internet, one of the signs being 30 or more hours of use per week.

Umm….Hello?

So, I’ll take ashes again tomorrow and begin my 40-day Internet fast. It probably won’t be pretty. Let’s just say that today, I’m doing my pre-grieving. I like to get these things out of the way early on, if possible!  :)

I plan to post to fallible regularly, though, and if you leave a comment, I’ll receive that in my email. I’ll check my email twice a day, and correspond with people then. But other than that and checking my bank balance (give a girl a break!), I’m backing away from Al Gore’s brain child until Easter.

I don’t know what God has planned for me during this season. I don’t know what will fill the void, which for me is the whole point of calling the fast. But I am doing this thing, and I will leave the results in Someone Else’s hands.

Even this side of heaven, it’s good sometimes to return to ash.

Posted by Katy on 02/20/07 at 04:51 PM
Fallible Comments...
  1. I hadn't thought about Lent... I don't think I've ever tried abstaining from something or making a sacrifice during Lent, ever. I'll be missing Ash Wednesday service coz I have classes in uni tomorrow night. All the best with the Internet fast... I think you're really brave ;)
    Posted by Sunflower  on  02/20/07  at  08:22 PM
  2. Sunflower--I'll tell you what I am: Shaking in my slippers! Honestly, I'm a huge chicken about this stuff. I really think my (we'll just say) overuse of the Internet needs to be broken, but if God doesn't supply the grace, it ain't gonna happen.

    Isaiah 58 talks about fasting being for (among other things) "breaking bonds." That's what I'm hoping for.

    So I'm praying. And I'm scared. That's the way it works for me! Fear and commitment all tied up in one very messy package!
    Posted by Katy  on  02/21/07  at  01:33 AM
  3. Since it's Ash Wednesday, you might not read this for 40 days, but I so agree with you. i came here by way of AC at Sonnets of the Hermit, and I just appreciate your expression on this season.

    I, too, have thought of the internet as an addiction. It's hard to let go and leave it alone, especially the blogosphere.

    Thanks. Hallelujah for the resurrection!
    Posted by Beverly  on  02/21/07  at  11:08 PM
  4. Katy, fear and commitment normally go hand-in-hand with me too... I'm always like, "I'm so scared, but I HAVE to do this!" -- then I close my eyes and jump...
    Posted by Sunflower  on  02/22/07  at  04:35 AM
  5. Katy, you are an inspiration! My addiction is the TV - I come home from work and "relax" for a while and soon the time flies and I've accomplished nothing while my mind has been numbed by mindless entertainment! So, although 40 days fasting would be so good - I will go on a weekend fast first to see if I can fill the void with something that glorifies the Lord and not my flesh! Thank you for sharing!

    much love,
    Nancy
    Posted by Nancy Wood  on  02/22/07  at  07:19 PM
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