Trading Faces

She got tired of being on the ER gurney pretty darned fast, but then she's not known for being overly patient. The room had a wind chill not unlike the one outside, which only hastened the inevitable.

"I've got to get up. I need to pee--quick!"

"Not so fast," the nurse said. "I'll get a wheelchair."

"I'm fine! Besides, I can run faster than you can push me! I can't wait!"

The nurse unfastened the EKG wires and removed the oxygen stats clothes-pin-like clip from an index finger. She unwound the blood pressure cuff from the left arm and disconnected the IV on the right.

An attendant rolled in with the wheelchair and made a big fuss of covering the old gal's rear end with a second hospital gown, put on backwards, like anybody really cares about stuff like that when she needs to pee.

Then the attendant bent down to make sure that the foot pedals of the wheelchair were perfectly aligned, as if the patient was about to test drive a sports car or something.

"Hurry! Really, I'm going to wet my pants!"

Which was pretty unlikely, since underwear and other valuables had been stuffed in a plastic bag some time back.

The attendant meandered down the hall behind the wheelchair, chattering cheerfully the whole way, stopping at least once to ask the doctor if she'd be needing a urine sample from the unfortunate lady who nearly produced one on the spot. Once she got the fiesty patient inside the bathroom and transferred safely onto the toilet, she asked if she should stay to witness the historic event.

"I'll be fine, and I'll be done in just a minute. I'll pop the door open when I'm through--OK?"

The attendant did not wait for the door to pop, though, and was standing in front of the patient within seconds, with one of her hands steadying the wheelchair.

The patient stepped to the back of the wheelchair, took ahold of the handles, and began to push it through the open door.

"Ummm...I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm supposed to be pushing the chair," the attendant said.

"Oh, yeah," I answered. "Sometimes I forget."

Posted by Katy on 03/01/05 at 05:55 PM

Fallible Comments...

Katy,
This is the first time I have visited your site, and men are not supposed to notice, but I really like what you have done to this place. The Wallpaper is quite something, gives it a very rich coloring. Like some Empire subcontinent look. Exotic.
I also liked your last blog. by the end I felt like I was suffocating.
Blessings,
Marvin
-----
Posted by T.S. Beckett on 03/03/05 at 10:16 PM
Hey, Marvin, oh ye of faithinfiction fame! Welcome. I think men notice all kinds of stuff they won't commonly admit to--it takes a secure man to admit! I appreciate your noticing my "decor." I came up with the "wallpaper" and the chick in the corner and the colors and my hubby put it all together for me. It's pretty great to "have a guy" for the techie stuff I'm lousy at!

Sorry I caused you a bout of suffocation. Unfortunately, I suffered a second bout of not being able to breathe the next day, when awake--hence the run to the ER. Now I'm going to get to do one of those luscious stress echocardiograms we middle-aged folks love so much. Sigh. Blessings to you, too!
Posted by Katy Raymond on 03/04/05 at 04:28 AM

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Personal blog of christian writer & fallible mom Katy McKenna Raymond in Kansas City, Missouri Katy is represented by Greg Johnson at WordServe Literary Read more Katy at LateBoomer.net Follow Katy on Twitter Follow Katy on Facebook 123 Recent Posts Try Becoming Brenda Starr Off Beat Scattered That’s It So I’ve Finally Signed With An Agent. Now What? The Spoon Sciatica Sweetheart A Woman’s Train of Thought Has No Caboose However much we own, we are all still living on borrowed time After all, when restaurants shrink portions, they don’t shrink prices. As with everything in life, balance is key. Slow down, you move too fast… Yeah, I know. I have issues. Search Advanced Search Syndicate Login E me at katy @ ngenius.com	Trading Faces She got tired of being on the ER gurney pretty darned fast, but then she's not known for being overly patient. The room had a wind chill not unlike the one outside, which only hastened the inevitable. "I've got to get up. I need to pee--quick!" "Not so fast," the nurse said. "I'll get a wheelchair." "I'm fine! Besides, I can run faster than you can push me! I can't wait!" The nurse unfastened the EKG wires and removed the oxygen stats clothes-pin-like clip from an index finger. She unwound the blood pressure cuff from the left arm and disconnected the IV on the right. An attendant rolled in with the wheelchair and made a big fuss of covering the old gal's rear end with a second hospital gown, put on backwards, like anybody really cares about stuff like that when she needs to pee. Then the attendant bent down to make sure that the foot pedals of the wheelchair were perfectly aligned, as if the patient was about to test drive a sports car or something. "Hurry! Really, I'm going to wet my pants!" Which was pretty unlikely, since underwear and other valuables had been stuffed in a plastic bag some time back. The attendant meandered down the hall behind the wheelchair, chattering cheerfully the whole way, stopping at least once to ask the doctor if she'd be needing a urine sample from the unfortunate lady who nearly produced one on the spot. Once she got the fiesty patient inside the bathroom and transferred safely onto the toilet, she asked if she should stay to witness the historic event. "I'll be fine, and I'll be done in just a minute. I'll pop the door open when I'm through--OK?" The attendant did not wait for the door to pop, though, and was standing in front of the patient within seconds, with one of her hands steadying the wheelchair. The patient stepped to the back of the wheelchair, took ahold of the handles, and began to push it through the open door. "Ummm...I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm supposed to be pushing the chair," the attendant said. "Oh, yeah," I answered. "Sometimes I forget." Posted by Katy on 03/01/05 at 05:55 PM Fallible Comments... Katy, This is the first time I have visited your site, and men are not supposed to notice, but I really like what you have done to this place. The Wallpaper is quite something, gives it a very rich coloring. Like some Empire subcontinent look. Exotic. I also liked your last blog. by the end I felt like I was suffocating. Blessings, Marvin ----- Posted by T.S. Beckett on 03/03/05 at 10:16 PM Hey, Marvin, oh ye of faithinfiction fame! Welcome. I think men notice all kinds of stuff they won't commonly admit to--it takes a secure man to admit! I appreciate your noticing my "decor." I came up with the "wallpaper" and the chick in the corner and the colors and my hubby put it all together for me. It's pretty great to "have a guy" for the techie stuff I'm lousy at! Sorry I caused you a bout of suffocation. Unfortunately, I suffered a second bout of not being able to breathe the next day, when awake--hence the run to the ER. Now I'm going to get to do one of those luscious stress echocardiograms we middle-aged folks love so much. Sigh. Blessings to you, too! Posted by Katy Raymond on 03/04/05 at 04:28 AM Page 1 of 1 pages Commenting is not available in this weblog entry. Next entry: Unemployment Rate Skyrocketing? Previous entry: Just Breathe << Back to main


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Personal blog of christianwriter & fallible momKaty McKenna Raymondin Kansas City, Missouri

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Trading Faces

Personal blog of christian
writer & fallible mom
Katy McKenna Raymond
in Kansas City, Missouri