The Quest For Immortality, Mama-Style

Just got off the phone with my mom, not to be confused with Doug's mom, although honestly some days the lines get blurred. And not only the phone lines, either...

Mom has always referred to the retirement place where she's lived for the past three years as The Funny Farm, because of the seemingly contagious levels of Alzheimers and other forms of dementia contained therein. I don't think my mother has dementia at all, but as you know if you've read here for long, she's crazy just the same.

Doug's mom refers to her assisted living facility--where she's lived for one-and-one-half years--as The House, which is what she's called every residence she's ever occupied. She'll invite us over to her small apartment by saying, "Why don't you come over to The House later?" At first, I figured she was confused, and still thought she was living in the home she'd owned for 35 years, but no. She likes thinking of it as The House.

I know it's irreverent, but I take my cues about these things from my mom. To me, both establishments are The Funny Farm.

So Mom called from her Funny Farm to ask an important question. She felt sure I'd know the answer.

"You remember that photograph of you girls and me, where I've got on the big yellow corsage?" she asked.

"Was it at someone's wedding?"

"No, no, you all know how much I hate yellow. None of you would have made me wear a yellow corsage...You know, I've got on that white dress with the pleats and the flecks and my hair looks good..."

That did narrow it down a bit.

"Yeah, I know the picture. What about it?" I asked.

"They gave me an award that day, remember? It was at a luncheon and I invited you girls because they told me I'd be getting an award..."

"Yeah, Mom, you were voted The Woman of the Year."

"I know THAT. But what was the organization I belonged to? Who gave me the award?"

This all happened maybe 15 years ago, so I'm a little fuzzy on the details myself. I remember her being a member of the Daughters of the American Revolution, but if they'd given an award, wouldn't it be called Daughter of the Year? Then it came to me.

"Wasn't it the American Business Women's Association? The ABWA?" I asked.

"That's IT! Okay, that's all I called you for. I'll let you go now."

"Wait a minute, Mom. I'm curious why you needed that bit of trivia..."

"Well, Little Betty died last week, you know. The whole time she lived at The Funny Farm, she didn't look like much to me. Frail and old and sick..."

By now, I'm chuckling to myself. "And?"

"Did you catch her obit in yesterday's paper? That woman belonged to every organization in Kansas City! It took up a whole column and a half!"

"So..."

"So I'm writing my obit. Not the way they'll write it up at the Kansas City Star when the time comes, but you know, the highlights."

"Make it a good one, Mom."

"Oh, I will," she said, with more determination than I've heard her use in years. "I will."

Finally, the woman's got something to live for!

Posted by Katy on 06/03/05 at 12:05 PM

Fallible Comments...

Your mother is a gem. BTW, before my best friend moved to the country, she used to have a house she called The Mission because people were always coming and going, just dropping in at a moment's notice. Sometimes even spending a couple nights. She even took you in for short time if you needed it. As a matter of fact, it's happened at her home in the country. What a gal.

-----
Posted by Paula on 06/03/05 at 07:52 PM
Oh, Katy...you've got to be joking...I can't get Mom to write in the "To My Daughter" book that I gave her years ago, but she's willing to write her obituary. Something's not right about that woman.
Posted by Bridget on 06/03/05 at 10:13 PM
That is so funny. At least she's spry and fiesty. A very cool post. Thanks for the good write up and the laughs.
Posted by The Complimenting Commenter on 06/03/05 at 10:28 PM

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Personal blog of christian writer & fallible mom Katy McKenna Raymond in Kansas City, Missouri Katy is represented by Greg Johnson at WordServe Literary Read more Katy at LateBoomer.net Follow Katy on Twitter Follow Katy on Facebook 123 Recent Posts Try Becoming Brenda Starr Off Beat Scattered That’s It So I’ve Finally Signed With An Agent. Now What? The Spoon Sciatica Sweetheart A Woman’s Train of Thought Has No Caboose However much we own, we are all still living on borrowed time After all, when restaurants shrink portions, they don’t shrink prices. As with everything in life, balance is key. Slow down, you move too fast… Yeah, I know. I have issues. Search Advanced Search Syndicate Login E me at katy @ ngenius.com	The Quest For Immortality, Mama-Style Just got off the phone with my mom, not to be confused with Doug's mom, although honestly some days the lines get blurred. And not only the phone lines, either... Mom has always referred to the retirement place where she's lived for the past three years as The Funny Farm, because of the seemingly contagious levels of Alzheimers and other forms of dementia contained therein. I don't think my mother has dementia at all, but as you know if you've read here for long, she's crazy just the same. Doug's mom refers to her assisted living facility--where she's lived for one-and-one-half years--as The House, which is what she's called every residence she's ever occupied. She'll invite us over to her small apartment by saying, "Why don't you come over to The House later?" At first, I figured she was confused, and still thought she was living in the home she'd owned for 35 years, but no. She likes thinking of it as The House. I know it's irreverent, but I take my cues about these things from my mom. To me, both establishments are The Funny Farm. So Mom called from her Funny Farm to ask an important question. She felt sure I'd know the answer. "You remember that photograph of you girls and me, where I've got on the big yellow corsage?" she asked. "Was it at someone's wedding?" "No, no, you all know how much I hate yellow. None of you would have made me wear a yellow corsage...You know, I've got on that white dress with the pleats and the flecks and my hair looks good..." That did narrow it down a bit. "Yeah, I know the picture. What about it?" I asked. "They gave me an award that day, remember? It was at a luncheon and I invited you girls because they told me I'd be getting an award..." "Yeah, Mom, you were voted The Woman of the Year." "I know THAT. But what was the organization I belonged to? Who gave me the award?" This all happened maybe 15 years ago, so I'm a little fuzzy on the details myself. I remember her being a member of the Daughters of the American Revolution, but if they'd given an award, wouldn't it be called Daughter of the Year? Then it came to me. "Wasn't it the American Business Women's Association? The ABWA?" I asked. "That's IT! Okay, that's all I called you for. I'll let you go now." "Wait a minute, Mom. I'm curious why you needed that bit of trivia..." "Well, Little Betty died last week, you know. The whole time she lived at The Funny Farm, she didn't look like much to me. Frail and old and sick..." By now, I'm chuckling to myself. "And?" "Did you catch her obit in yesterday's paper? That woman belonged to every organization in Kansas City! It took up a whole column and a half!" "So..." "So I'm writing my obit. Not the way they'll write it up at the Kansas City Star when the time comes, but you know, the highlights." "Make it a good one, Mom." "Oh, I will," she said, with more determination than I've heard her use in years. "I will." Finally, the woman's got something to live for! Posted by Katy on 06/03/05 at 12:05 PM Fallible Comments... Your mother is a gem. BTW, before my best friend moved to the country, she used to have a house she called The Mission because people were always coming and going, just dropping in at a moment's notice. Sometimes even spending a couple nights. She even took you in for short time if you needed it. As a matter of fact, it's happened at her home in the country. What a gal. ----- Posted by Paula on 06/03/05 at 07:52 PM Oh, Katy...you've got to be joking...I can't get Mom to write in the "To My Daughter" book that I gave her years ago, but she's willing to write her obituary. Something's not right about that woman. Posted by Bridget on 06/03/05 at 10:13 PM That is so funny. At least she's spry and fiesty. A very cool post. Thanks for the good write up and the laughs. Posted by The Complimenting Commenter on 06/03/05 at 10:28 PM Page 1 of 1 pages Commenting is not available in this weblog entry. Next entry: Freak Out! Previous entry: Let The Children Come To Me << Back to main


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The Quest For Immortality, Mama-Style

Personal blog of christian
writer & fallible mom
Katy McKenna Raymond
in Kansas City, Missouri