The Highlighter Of My Day

“I wish I had your life.”

I would have looked over my shoulder right then to see who the classy young woman might have been speaking to, but I knew there was a thick wall behind the couch on which I sat. Besides, even though I might have heard her wrong, there was no mistaking the fact that she stared directly at me.

Me, of all people.

“Huh?” I said, impressing her even more, no doubt, than she must have been by sizing up my ratty jeans and Old Navy t-shirt, on which the screen-printed American flag and the year “2001” had nearly flaked off.

“Your life,” she said. “I want it.”

She twirled a short blond curl that had managed to escape from the crocheted cloche on her head. She was dressed entirely in black, in that super-put-together way that New York City women have.

In fact, the only colorful item on her table—besides a red leather cell phone case—was a yellow highlighter.

“I’m studying so hard,” she said. “And I have to highlight everything, just to help me concentrate.”

I had noticed, in the two minutes I’d allowed myself to sit at Starbucks before digging into the caretaking duties of the day, that she was one of those students for whom the textbook manufacturers should just publish their materials on yellow paper and call it a day.

“What are you studying?” I asked.

“I’m going to be a certified financial planner. And then I’ll work for my father full-time.”

“Hey, that sounds great—”

“But you don’t understand. It’s really, really hard. I had to call my dad to ask him what a ‘zero coupon’ is and he said something about interest rates, but I still don’t get it. So now I’m trying to find where I highlighted about zero coupons in my book but it’s really, really hard to find…”

I could have told her why, but I held my peace.

“...And all I do is study for the little tests that happen at the end of each of these books, and then I’ll have to study for the really big test that happens at the end of all twelve of the books, and I really hate tests.”

“How often do you have to show up for class?”

“Oh, it’s all online, and it’s at my own pace. And I have lots of free time. I work part-time, but my weekends and evenings are free. I live at home, so my mom does my laundry and cooks my meals. But it’s really, really tough and now I’m pretty sure my boyfriend’s going to propose to me over Thanksgiving and that’s got me all nervous and then I’m distracted and so I have to highlight everything I read or I won’t be able to remember it.”

I wanted to help—I really, really did.

“Well, when he proposes, make sure you get a really, really big diamond, because maybe looking at it will help you calm down during all those tests.”

Yeah, I know. Pretty lame.

“Oh, I’m not that kind of girl,” she said. “I really don’t care about things like that. I wouldn’t care about an engagement ring at all except for the fact that I really, really love huge gemstones of every kind and so I do want a really big diamond. But only because I really, really like them—that’s the only reason.”

By this time, I’d stood because my five minute break had ended and because I had to stand closer to her so that I wouldn’t miss her answer when I asked my final question. I leaned in a bit so no one else could overhear, and a straggled piece of my unkempt hair tangled for a second with her one perfect curl.

“So why exactly do you wish you had my life?” I asked.

“Because,” she said, “you have all day to do nothing but relax at Starbucks.”

Posted by Katy on 11/22/05 at 09:48 AM

Fallible Comments...

Oh my. It's like a conversation from a completely different universe, isn't it?
Posted by Ginger on 11/22/05 at 07:03 PM
Ginger--Yeah. And it was so shocking that she wanted my life based completely on the fact that I spent ONE MINUTE looking at the arts section of the New York Times.

I learned a long time ago not to want anyone's life but my own--no matter how funky it may be. Every time I wonder whether I'd like to trade mine in for someone else's, I think no, that's all right. God knows what He's doing!
Posted by Katy on 11/22/05 at 08:53 PM
Wow. That's unreal - except I can almost picture it, I've met young women who I could envision actually talking to me like that - though usually they're coming to the door trying to get me to buy a magazine subscription so they can win a trip to Europe, which of course they claim they'd like me to go on with them...

I have a friend who started having her kids a little before I did, and who couldn't work anyway because she was from out of the country and didn't have a work permit. We laugh now about how I finally confessed a few years ago that I used to have such a hard time understanding why it was so hard for her to find the time to get together with me - after all, she wasn't "working"!

Parenting - elder care - or both at the same time, like we've faced in varying doses - why is it that our society doesn't really acknowledge or teach about the huge commitment, time and energy involved? How come so many of us end up so surprised?
Posted by Chris(tine) on 11/23/05 at 12:11 AM
Chris(tine)--You raise a great question: Why are we so surprised? I've read that there are over 40 million part or full time caregivers in the US, and a huge number of those (8 million?) are minors! Children taking care of their parents, grandparents, or other elders.

I never pictured this happening to me, either. My father died when he was only 62. And although he'd been on disability for some years by then, he died before he required a lot of assistance. My grandparents also died without long situations demanding a lot of care. (Grandma was very ill for four months, but that sounds short to me.) So I'd never really witnessed a family member in the caretaking role.

Suprise, suprise! I'd heard stories of such things, of course, and how sometimes the caregiver was "never the same" after the elder's death, but I thought it only happened to other families.

Anyway, I didn't have the heart to burst the young girl's bubble. And I briefly enjoyed having my life be a source of so much envy!!! :)
Posted by Katy on 11/23/05 at 07:33 AM
It came as an enormous surprise to me that I managed to spell suprise wrong TWICE! Yikes! Sorry. Haven't had even one sip of coffee yet...
Posted by Katy on 11/23/05 at 07:37 AM
Oh my gosh! That makes three times that I spelled wrong that word that I refuse to attempt again because even I still have a small amount of dignity left....
Posted by Katy on 11/23/05 at 07:39 AM
I think we end up surprised because we've got the message that to be able to do it all simultaneoulsy is somehow tied to that word "success".

The hardest thing to do is to be present to anyone, even ourselves some days. Society gives us accolades for being busy instead of present. Sigh.
Posted by Hope on 11/23/05 at 01:35 PM
Wow . . . wow. I often say, and I believe it with all of me, "I'm glad I don't have to choose my own hell, because how would I choose? We all have a 'hell,' and this is mine." Perhaps that's wisdom learned only from experience and age - welp - got that one down!!! hehehehehe

I love what Hope said - being "present" and not busy. Very well spoken. Busy seems to be revered and seems to raise one's status. Present denotes an intimacy with oneself and with God. Absolutely Present would be much more attractive than Busy, don't you think? Present is a place; Busy is a calender.
Posted by Ame on 11/24/05 at 12:13 AM
Hope and Ame--500 points each (OK, my friend Jeanne usually passes out "points," but I couldn't resist...) for writing profound truth on Thanksgiving. Thanks to you both! I feel more present already...
Posted by Katy on 11/24/05 at 07:09 AM
...

Pray for those who need it, and do not pass judgement...

But...

COME ON... she wants to be a CFP and doesn't know what a zero coupon is?! Or how to not say "really" a lot? Eeesch... God's grace to whomever decides to become her client...

Okay, back to not judging again...
Posted by KMulligan on 11/29/05 at 11:25 PM
Kevin--Tee, hee. Yes, I'm afraid in her case it might be wise to ask to see her own financial statements. You know that old advice: Never take finincial advice from someone who's got less money than you do!

OK, back to not judging. Only observing. :)
Posted by Katy on 11/30/05 at 07:27 AM

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Personal blog of christian writer & fallible mom Katy McKenna Raymond in Kansas City, Missouri Katy is represented by Greg Johnson at WordServe Literary Read more Katy at LateBoomer.net Follow Katy on Twitter Follow Katy on Facebook 123 Recent Posts Try Becoming Brenda Starr Off Beat Scattered That’s It So I’ve Finally Signed With An Agent. Now What? The Spoon Sciatica Sweetheart A Woman’s Train of Thought Has No Caboose However much we own, we are all still living on borrowed time After all, when restaurants shrink portions, they don’t shrink prices. As with everything in life, balance is key. Slow down, you move too fast… Yeah, I know. I have issues. Search Advanced Search Syndicate Login E me at katy @ ngenius.com	The Highlighter Of My Day “I wish I had your life.” I would have looked over my shoulder right then to see who the classy young woman might have been speaking to, but I knew there was a thick wall behind the couch on which I sat. Besides, even though I might have heard her wrong, there was no mistaking the fact that she stared directly at me. Me, of all people. “Huh?” I said, impressing her even more, no doubt, than she must have been by sizing up my ratty jeans and Old Navy t-shirt, on which the screen-printed American flag and the year “2001” had nearly flaked off. “Your life,” she said. “I want it.” She twirled a short blond curl that had managed to escape from the crocheted cloche on her head. She was dressed entirely in black, in that super-put-together way that New York City women have. In fact, the only colorful item on her table—besides a red leather cell phone case—was a yellow highlighter. “I’m studying so hard,” she said. “And I have to highlight everything, just to help me concentrate.” I had noticed, in the two minutes I’d allowed myself to sit at Starbucks before digging into the caretaking duties of the day, that she was one of those students for whom the textbook manufacturers should just publish their materials on yellow paper and call it a day. “What are you studying?” I asked. “I’m going to be a certified financial planner. And then I’ll work for my father full-time.” “Hey, that sounds great—” “But you don’t understand. It’s really, really hard. I had to call my dad to ask him what a ‘zero coupon’ is and he said something about interest rates, but I still don’t get it. So now I’m trying to find where I highlighted about zero coupons in my book but it’s really, really hard to find…” I could have told her why, but I held my peace. “...And all I do is study for the little tests that happen at the end of each of these books, and then I’ll have to study for the really big test that happens at the end of all twelve of the books, and I really hate tests.” “How often do you have to show up for class?” “Oh, it’s all online, and it’s at my own pace. And I have lots of free time. I work part-time, but my weekends and evenings are free. I live at home, so my mom does my laundry and cooks my meals. But it’s really, really tough and now I’m pretty sure my boyfriend’s going to propose to me over Thanksgiving and that’s got me all nervous and then I’m distracted and so I have to highlight everything I read or I won’t be able to remember it.” I wanted to help—I really, really did. “Well, when he proposes, make sure you get a really, really big diamond, because maybe looking at it will help you calm down during all those tests.” Yeah, I know. Pretty lame. “Oh, I’m not that kind of girl,” she said. “I really don’t care about things like that. I wouldn’t care about an engagement ring at all except for the fact that I really, really love huge gemstones of every kind and so I do want a really big diamond. But only because I really, really like them—that’s the only reason.” By this time, I’d stood because my five minute break had ended and because I had to stand closer to her so that I wouldn’t miss her answer when I asked my final question. I leaned in a bit so no one else could overhear, and a straggled piece of my unkempt hair tangled for a second with her one perfect curl. “So why exactly do you wish you had my life?” I asked. “Because,” she said, “you have all day to do nothing but relax at Starbucks.” Posted by Katy on 11/22/05 at 09:48 AM Fallible Comments... Oh my. It's like a conversation from a completely different universe, isn't it? Posted by Ginger on 11/22/05 at 07:03 PM Ginger--Yeah. And it was so shocking that she wanted my life based completely on the fact that I spent ONE MINUTE looking at the arts section of the New York Times. I learned a long time ago not to want anyone's life but my own--no matter how funky it may be. Every time I wonder whether I'd like to trade mine in for someone else's, I think no, that's all right. God knows what He's doing! Posted by Katy on 11/22/05 at 08:53 PM Wow. That's unreal - except I can almost picture it, I've met young women who I could envision actually talking to me like that - though usually they're coming to the door trying to get me to buy a magazine subscription so they can win a trip to Europe, which of course they claim they'd like me to go on with them... I have a friend who started having her kids a little before I did, and who couldn't work anyway because she was from out of the country and didn't have a work permit. We laugh now about how I finally confessed a few years ago that I used to have such a hard time understanding why it was so hard for her to find the time to get together with me - after all, she wasn't "working"! Parenting - elder care - or both at the same time, like we've faced in varying doses - why is it that our society doesn't really acknowledge or teach about the huge commitment, time and energy involved? How come so many of us end up so surprised? Posted by Chris(tine) on 11/23/05 at 12:11 AM Chris(tine)--You raise a great question: Why are we so surprised? I've read that there are over 40 million part or full time caregivers in the US, and a huge number of those (8 million?) are minors! Children taking care of their parents, grandparents, or other elders. I never pictured this happening to me, either. My father died when he was only 62. And although he'd been on disability for some years by then, he died before he required a lot of assistance. My grandparents also died without long situations demanding a lot of care. (Grandma was very ill for four months, but that sounds short to me.) So I'd never really witnessed a family member in the caretaking role. Suprise, suprise! I'd heard stories of such things, of course, and how sometimes the caregiver was "never the same" after the elder's death, but I thought it only happened to other families. Anyway, I didn't have the heart to burst the young girl's bubble. And I briefly enjoyed having my life be a source of so much envy!!! :) Posted by Katy on 11/23/05 at 07:33 AM It came as an enormous surprise to me that I managed to spell suprise wrong TWICE! Yikes! Sorry. Haven't had even one sip of coffee yet... Posted by Katy on 11/23/05 at 07:37 AM Oh my gosh! That makes three times that I spelled wrong that word that I refuse to attempt again because even I still have a small amount of dignity left.... Posted by Katy on 11/23/05 at 07:39 AM I think we end up surprised because we've got the message that to be able to do it all simultaneoulsy is somehow tied to that word "success". The hardest thing to do is to be present to anyone, even ourselves some days. Society gives us accolades for being busy instead of present. Sigh. Posted by Hope on 11/23/05 at 01:35 PM Wow . . . wow. I often say, and I believe it with all of me, "I'm glad I don't have to choose my own hell, because how would I choose? We all have a 'hell,' and this is mine." Perhaps that's wisdom learned only from experience and age - welp - got that one down!!! hehehehehe I love what Hope said - being "present" and not busy. Very well spoken. Busy seems to be revered and seems to raise one's status. Present denotes an intimacy with oneself and with God. Absolutely Present would be much more attractive than Busy, don't you think? Present is a place; Busy is a calender. Posted by Ame on 11/24/05 at 12:13 AM Hope and Ame--500 points each (OK, my friend Jeanne usually passes out "points," but I couldn't resist...) for writing profound truth on Thanksgiving. Thanks to you both! I feel more present already... Posted by Katy on 11/24/05 at 07:09 AM ... Pray for those who need it, and do not pass judgement... But... COME ON... she wants to be a CFP and doesn't know what a zero coupon is?! Or how to not say "really" a lot? Eeesch... God's grace to whomever decides to become her client... Okay, back to not judging again... Posted by KMulligan on 11/29/05 at 11:25 PM Kevin--Tee, hee. Yes, I'm afraid in her case it might be wise to ask to see her own financial statements. You know that old advice: Never take finincial advice from someone who's got less money than you do! OK, back to not judging. Only observing. :) Posted by Katy on 11/30/05 at 07:27 AM Page 1 of 1 pages Commenting is not available in this weblog entry. Next entry: So Much Less To Be Thankful For... Previous entry: Adjusting Her Meds << Back to main


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Personal blog of christianwriter & fallible momKaty McKenna Raymondin Kansas City, Missouri

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The Highlighter Of My Day

Personal blog of christian
writer & fallible mom
Katy McKenna Raymond
in Kansas City, Missouri