Some Stuff I’ll Never Want For Christmas

My idea of a truly lousy Christmas present is an item that is only advertised during the holiday season, and completely falls off the consumer radar screen for the remainder of the year.

Then, the next year, dang if it doesn’t make a comeback as clockworked as the McRib at McDonalds. (My father, dead lo these 24 years, loved the McRib. Even then, he’d get so mad when McDonalds pulled them off the market, only to bring them back a year or so later. But has McDonalds stopped jerking around their faithful McRib lovers? No, they have not…But I digress.)

Here’s an old Christmas chesnut I hope to never crack again. One year, when my dear mother obviously had run out of fresh ideas like bathroom scales (hint, hint…) for each of us newlywed couples, she gave us Chia Pets. This year, the company heavily promoted its Chia Herb Garden, which really really reminds me of a Chia Pet so much that I’m tempted to give up herbs altogether. And maybe vitamins and minerals, too, just for spite.

If I manage to escape receiving a Chia Herb Garden for my remaining Christmases, I still have to be alarmed about the possibility that this pesky item might be sprouting under some unsuspecting tree. Where on earth is a typical homeowner supposed to set up a contraption like this anyway? I’m pretty sure you have to buy kits from the AeroGarden company to fuel this high-dollar dirtless indoor salad grower, which makes the bags of pre-cut lettuce at Sam’s look awfully cheap. And space-saving, too.

I’m grateful not to have received either of these items this year, because if I had, I might have thought it a good thing to also be opening one of these puppies. You know, so that I could practice all the choreographed moves I’ve learned from a month’s worth of TV ads in which all the guys and gals at a holiday party grab their Dirt Devil Broom Vacs to clean up a Christmas mess. Did I mention my mother gave me one of these some years back? People! I have never owned a more worthless tool, and believe me, I’ve owned a few.

Vacuums suck and brooms sweep. The broom vac does neither. However, this year it comes in twelve designer colors, one sure to match the outfit of everyone at your party. So that’s something, eh?

Any Christmas gifts you are absolutely thrilled not to have received?

Posted by Katy on 12/27/07 at 05:27 PM

Fallible Comments...

All my friends know that I'm a health nut and don't eat sugar and white flour. This year, a very dear friend gave me a huge basket full of "gourmet" food goodies. What was in the basket? Assorted baked goods made with white flour, high fructose corn syrup, preservatives, artificial flavors, colors, etc. I read the ingredients on each box of "goodies," opened the box, tasted each item (yuk) and then threw them in the trash, one by one. I know she meant well, she's a sweet friend. But sheesh, make the connection! Don't people read labels?

Next year, I hope she thinks, "gift card from Whole Foods!"

:-)
Posted by Suzan Robertson on 12/28/07 at 08:37 AM
I thought I was the only one who hated that horrible broomcuum. :)
Well, used (we're talking garage sale with the price still on!) books top the list of things I don't want under my tree. I won't mention names, but more than once in the past has our family received these for Christmas, and I can't help but wonder...what in the world were these people thinking?!?
Posted by Bridget on 12/28/07 at 03:02 PM
Firstly - Katy, we have one of those broom/vacuum things and you are so right - it is worthless. The Swiffer works way better.

Suzan, I am with you! You KC folks are so fortunate to have such an amazing place like the Whole Foods Market. I visited there recently and was overcome by the sheer coolness of the place. I deal with celiac, and I have been showered with many well-meaning gifts of food containing wheat flour. Usually they will say, oh, I got this for you because it said "natural" or "organic" on it.

As far as gifts that i am thrilled not to have received, for me that is the big one - food that I can't eat because it is full of sugar or gluten. It is torture to get a huge box of amazing looking cookies and not be able to eat one. Thankfully, that was NOT the case this year. I did get some great fruit though!
Posted by joshua on 12/28/07 at 09:37 PM
Suzan--I'll never forget when my kids didn't know I'd given up sugar for what turned out to be FOREVER and purchased me a box of Russell Stover's for my anniversary. Eight years ago. It took me months to have the strength to give away the chocolate and even longer to tell the kids all the thousands of temptations I endured because of it!!!

Bridget--I'm not a huge fan of used books, unless they're from someone I know. Don't love buying them from a garage sale. However, at my house on Christmas with my kids, I had a huge bin of books I was about to sell at Half Price Books, and I let them take whatever interested them. They seemed OK with that....

Joshua--I did not know about your celiac struggles. I've suspected as much with me, but got tested and they said I'm OK. I feel MUCH better when I avoid gluten, though. And I never eat sugar. Have you known about this condition for long? I know it has a huge impact on lifestyle. I will say after 8 years of eating completely sugar-free, friends and family will still urge me to have "just a little taste." It gets easier over time to not even NOTICE the fabulousness of the cookies, or to derive enjoyment from watching someone else eating them. But I admit that takes a LOT of time!!! :)
Posted by katy on 12/30/07 at 07:55 AM
great site from 2000 year.
Posted by murat on 02/16/08 at 02:56 PM
Hi Katy!I am a regular reader of your blog and enjoy your blog very much.Thank you for sharing your Christmas feelings
Posted by Hemorrhoids on 02/19/09 at 04:36 AM
wow!katy!how do you do?your article is always funny and laughter arousing. I like it.Nice experience of Christmas.I really jealous you.
Posted by Cholesterol symptoms, causes and remedies on 02/23/09 at 04:14 AM
Well, this is a very valuable post. Thanks for the information you provided. It would be great if got more post like this. I appreciate it. I will share it with other and ask more people to come and view your post here. Good Job.
Posted by Money Maker Ideas on 08/11/09 at 07:19 PM

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Personal blog of christian writer & fallible mom Katy McKenna Raymond in Kansas City, Missouri Katy is represented by Greg Johnson at WordServe Literary Read more Katy at LateBoomer.net Follow Katy on Twitter Follow Katy on Facebook 123 Recent Posts Try Becoming Brenda Starr Off Beat Scattered That’s It So I’ve Finally Signed With An Agent. Now What? The Spoon Sciatica Sweetheart A Woman’s Train of Thought Has No Caboose However much we own, we are all still living on borrowed time After all, when restaurants shrink portions, they don’t shrink prices. As with everything in life, balance is key. Slow down, you move too fast… Yeah, I know. I have issues. Search Advanced Search Syndicate Login E me at katy @ ngenius.com	Some Stuff I’ll Never Want For Christmas My idea of a truly lousy Christmas present is an item that is only advertised during the holiday season, and completely falls off the consumer radar screen for the remainder of the year. Then, the next year, dang if it doesn’t make a comeback as clockworked as the McRib at McDonalds. (My father, dead lo these 24 years, loved the McRib. Even then, he’d get so mad when McDonalds pulled them off the market, only to bring them back a year or so later. But has McDonalds stopped jerking around their faithful McRib lovers? No, they have not…But I digress.) Here’s an old Christmas chesnut I hope to never crack again. One year, when my dear mother obviously had run out of fresh ideas like bathroom scales (hint, hint…) for each of us newlywed couples, she gave us Chia Pets. This year, the company heavily promoted its Chia Herb Garden, which really really reminds me of a Chia Pet so much that I’m tempted to give up herbs altogether. And maybe vitamins and minerals, too, just for spite. If I manage to escape receiving a Chia Herb Garden for my remaining Christmases, I still have to be alarmed about the possibility that this pesky item might be sprouting under some unsuspecting tree. Where on earth is a typical homeowner supposed to set up a contraption like this anyway? I’m pretty sure you have to buy kits from the AeroGarden company to fuel this high-dollar dirtless indoor salad grower, which makes the bags of pre-cut lettuce at Sam’s look awfully cheap. And space-saving, too. I’m grateful not to have received either of these items this year, because if I had, I might have thought it a good thing to also be opening one of these puppies. You know, so that I could practice all the choreographed moves I’ve learned from a month’s worth of TV ads in which all the guys and gals at a holiday party grab their Dirt Devil Broom Vacs to clean up a Christmas mess. Did I mention my mother gave me one of these some years back? People! I have never owned a more worthless tool, and believe me, I’ve owned a few. Vacuums suck and brooms sweep. The broom vac does neither. However, this year it comes in twelve designer colors, one sure to match the outfit of everyone at your party. So that’s something, eh? Any Christmas gifts you are absolutely thrilled not to have received? Posted by Katy on 12/27/07 at 05:27 PM Fallible Comments... All my friends know that I'm a health nut and don't eat sugar and white flour. This year, a very dear friend gave me a huge basket full of "gourmet" food goodies. What was in the basket? Assorted baked goods made with white flour, high fructose corn syrup, preservatives, artificial flavors, colors, etc. I read the ingredients on each box of "goodies," opened the box, tasted each item (yuk) and then threw them in the trash, one by one. I know she meant well, she's a sweet friend. But sheesh, make the connection! Don't people read labels? Next year, I hope she thinks, "gift card from Whole Foods!" :-) Posted by Suzan Robertson on 12/28/07 at 08:37 AM I thought I was the only one who hated that horrible broomcuum. :) Well, used (we're talking garage sale with the price still on!) books top the list of things I don't want under my tree. I won't mention names, but more than once in the past has our family received these for Christmas, and I can't help but wonder...what in the world were these people thinking?!? Posted by Bridget on 12/28/07 at 03:02 PM Firstly - Katy, we have one of those broom/vacuum things and you are so right - it is worthless. The Swiffer works way better. Suzan, I am with you! You KC folks are so fortunate to have such an amazing place like the Whole Foods Market. I visited there recently and was overcome by the sheer coolness of the place. I deal with celiac, and I have been showered with many well-meaning gifts of food containing wheat flour. Usually they will say, oh, I got this for you because it said "natural" or "organic" on it. As far as gifts that i am thrilled not to have received, for me that is the big one - food that I can't eat because it is full of sugar or gluten. It is torture to get a huge box of amazing looking cookies and not be able to eat one. Thankfully, that was NOT the case this year. I did get some great fruit though! Posted by joshua on 12/28/07 at 09:37 PM Suzan--I'll never forget when my kids didn't know I'd given up sugar for what turned out to be FOREVER and purchased me a box of Russell Stover's for my anniversary. Eight years ago. It took me months to have the strength to give away the chocolate and even longer to tell the kids all the thousands of temptations I endured because of it!!! Bridget--I'm not a huge fan of used books, unless they're from someone I know. Don't love buying them from a garage sale. However, at my house on Christmas with my kids, I had a huge bin of books I was about to sell at Half Price Books, and I let them take whatever interested them. They seemed OK with that.... Joshua--I did not know about your celiac struggles. I've suspected as much with me, but got tested and they said I'm OK. I feel MUCH better when I avoid gluten, though. And I never eat sugar. Have you known about this condition for long? I know it has a huge impact on lifestyle. I will say after 8 years of eating completely sugar-free, friends and family will still urge me to have "just a little taste." It gets easier over time to not even NOTICE the fabulousness of the cookies, or to derive enjoyment from watching someone else eating them. But I admit that takes a LOT of time!!! :) Posted by katy on 12/30/07 at 07:55 AM great site from 2000 year. Posted by murat on 02/16/08 at 02:56 PM Hi Katy!I am a regular reader of your blog and enjoy your blog very much.Thank you for sharing your Christmas feelings Posted by Hemorrhoids on 02/19/09 at 04:36 AM wow!katy!how do you do?your article is always funny and laughter arousing. I like it.Nice experience of Christmas.I really jealous you. Posted by Cholesterol symptoms, causes and remedies on 02/23/09 at 04:14 AM Well, this is a very valuable post. Thanks for the information you provided. It would be great if got more post like this. I appreciate it. I will share it with other and ask more people to come and view your post here. Good Job. Posted by Money Maker Ideas on 08/11/09 at 07:19 PM Page 1 of 1 pages Commenting is not available in this weblog entry. Next entry: The Troubles Previous entry: My First-Ever Christmas Letter! << Back to main


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Personal blog of christianwriter & fallible momKaty McKenna Raymondin Kansas City, Missouri

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Some Stuff I’ll Never Want For Christmas

Personal blog of christian
writer & fallible mom
Katy McKenna Raymond
in Kansas City, Missouri