Skipping Thanksgiving

It’s not how it sounds.

I’m thankful, REALLY thankful. In fact, it’s a distinct possibility that this Thanksgiving may produce in me the most genuine thanks of any holiday for a very long time.

Because, you know what? Thanks to the wisdom of my daughter-in-law, Brooke, I realized that my earlier plan of hosting my 35-member clan at my house—including dragging Mom here and hoisting her up five steps to the front door—wasn’t something I was looking forward to.

Not one little bit.

You see, in nearly 29 years of marriage, Doug and I have not spent a single Thanksgiving (or Christmas or Easter, for that matter) with just our own little family. Nor have we divided the day rather reasonably between our little family, and then either his extended family or mine.

Oh, no, we don’t take turns with the in-laws. We might offend someone!

You may have noticed I’ve been under a lot of stress lately, and my siblings and I don’t always get along like model adult children of a needy mother during difficult times. We can rise to occasions, as long as occasions don’t occur very often, if you know what I mean.

So when Brooke suggested that maybe this year I should consider a different approach to the holiday, I took her seriously.

I started gently but firmly retracting my offer of hosting the whole slew of McKennas. A few questioned me.

“But why aren’t you doing it at your house?”

“It’s simple, really,” I said. “I don’t want to.”

And then it came out that none of them wanted to do it at their houses, either, so what exactly was the point, anyway?

My siblings (with none of their family members) and I are going to eat Thanksgiving lunch with Mom at her Funny Farm dining room. Doug and his siblings are going to do the same thing at their mom’s Funny Farm, at the same time.

Then, in the early evening, I will serve Thanksgiving dinner to my husband and children ONLY.

What’s up with that?

I’ll tell you what: I may be Skipping Thanksgiving in the way I’ve always practiced it, but in no way at all will I be skipping thanksgiving in my heart of hearts.

In fact, it’s already begun.

Posted by Katy on 11/14/05 at 03:38 PM

Fallible Comments...

Smart move, I chose a similar route a few years ago. And you know what...I started enjoying the holidays instead of dreading them. You go girl, God bless!
Posted by Bonnie Calhoun on 11/14/05 at 06:30 PM
Hey girlfriend - I'm proud of you for doing this! You know as we get a little older and sexier, we also get a little bolder and braver in doing things that are right and good for us. Something quite unusual for a mom, wife, sister, daughter, employee, woman.

I was reminded today, however, that we don't want to go overboard on that "bolder" and turn into a little old lady "biddy". (That's not a bad word, is it?) Ha! Seriously now - here is my story about that. Today, I was leaving Walmart with $315 of goods. Needless to say, my cart overfloweth and my feet hurteth. I was suddenly stopped at the door as the wonderful WallyWorld alarm went off alerting me to the fact that I must have stolen something. Hmmmm.....

Two employees headed my way to make sure I didn't leave with the goods. "Ma'am, we have to go through your bags." This just did not sit real well with me today. I had ever so carefully organized and stacked eaach of my bags of goodies so nothing would smash, spill, or tip. Now these two strangers wanted to go through my mound of bags. I firmly stated that every little bag better end up in exactly the same place I had it - and stepped back to watch them inspect. I was not about to help in this endeavor.

Ten minutes passes by as they continue to search - finally the culprit is located - a big bad scary bottle of Advil. Now come on - Advil?? Why in the world would Advil set off the alarm? I asked them if that was normal - and they assured me that it was. They have to put security bands on Advil because so many people steal it. I guess if you are a thief, you probably have a lot of stress headaches so it does make sense. But, really - come on!!! Advil?? They managed to restack the bags almost as well as I had them the first go around and then I was free to go. I wanted to head to the service desk and tell Mr. Walmart he owes me something for taking 20 minutes of my valuable time and inconveniencing me as such. But, I didn't - instead, I marched out the door, more than ever eager to get to my car.

Here is where the "biddy" part comes in. As I'm walking to my car, pushing the mountain of groceries along, an older lady comes up beside me in her car and begins to turn into a parking spot. The spot just happens to be on my right and she turns right in front of me, cutting me off and seriously almost hitting my cart with her car!!! She missed it by like a hair or two. I was in shock. "Hello in there? Anyone home?" I wanted to knock on her head a little myself and see. However, I didn't - being the nice non-biddy that I am, I marched to my car and began unloading groceries. I did keep my eyeballs on Mrs. Biddy though, hoping she might just (dare) look my way. I had a few things I might have shared with her. But, she didn't. I'm sure God kept the lady's head straight. He knew that at that moment, my non-biddy-menopausal-mind was not feeling too stable.

By this time, I'm wondering if the entire world is after me, so I get in the car and head straight home. I've made it through the whole evening without incident. I shall do a little fiction writing and head to bed with sore feet. Maybe tomorrow will be peaceful. I don't plan on leaving the house.

It was gret to see you this weekend, Miss Katy. We really should get together once in awhile, you know? Hey - do you remember what we discussed in Nashville? Critique partner??? Wooops - kind of forgot that one. Still up for it?

Hugs and smiles, Kath
Posted by Kath on 11/14/05 at 08:39 PM
I've done that . . . and it really is so freeing. Hard to do - perhaps just hard, sometimes, to define what I really want.

And, Kath - ohhhh, that WalMart thing! To me Wal Mart is a Necessary Evil that I try to avoid until, at the end of the road, it becomes necessary . . . and it always seems to contain some element of evil with each visit. I almost always leave Wal Mart extremely frustrated and relieved when my vehicle finally exits their parking lot!
Posted by Ame on 11/14/05 at 10:08 PM
Really? I'm not the only one then? I know - I feel just like that about the Super Centers. How awesome would it be if we had it like the 50s again and could go downtown to shop? I miss it terribly. Kath
Posted by Kath on 11/14/05 at 10:22 PM
Hummmm . . . well . . . I wasn't born till 64, so I don't have memory of the 50's :) hehehehehe However, it seems that in all our efforts to simplify, we have actually created more complexity . . . and definitely more stress! Wal Mart and Stress are truly synonymous to me, and I'm repelled by both!!!
Posted by Ame on 11/15/05 at 01:02 AM
I am so glad we don't have to check you into the funny farm. When you said you were having the McKenna's over for Thanksgiving I was almost speechless. Which you know for me is something rare. Just the thought of it for you this year gave me chills, and not the good kind. You have emerged into a mentally healthy adult woman. I'm so proud. You will be so glad you have chosen this kind of Thanksgiving. We did it when my dad was in the nursing home. It is different but what stays the same in this world anyway? You know the answer only God. Bravo girlfriend! You know I love ya.
Terri
Posted by Terri on 11/15/05 at 11:09 AM
Bonnie--Thanks for your support! I hesitated to use the word "dread," but yes, that's what it's turned into. But as of this moment, I'm looking forward to this holiday very much...

Kath--You're a hoot! "Older and sexier," huh? Hey, maybe you're onto something...
Your Walmart experience is so typical. Now I'll admit the naughty thing I did to Walmart. I tried to return a box of crackers. I'd opened them and found there was not a single grain of salt in the whole box--so I decided to trade them in. The guy at the door put a sticker on them and said to stand in line at customer service. I obeyed. But after standing in an unmoving line for 20 minutes, I said, No more. I took my crackers back to the cracker aisle, put the plainly open box on the shelf (so that no one would purchase it), took the little pink sticker and attached it to a brand new box, and walked out of the store with "my" crackers.I refused to spend the rest of my life in that line. Justified? I report...you decide.
Posted by Katy on 11/15/05 at 12:24 PM
Ame--It's VERY hard to define what we want, especially when we're not used to asking ourselves that question.

Terri--Me? Mentally healthy? Coming from you, I consider that quite an endorsement. I think you've made more strides that any woman I know and I'm so proud of you for it. You are accomplished at keeping things in perspective, and at trusting God to give you the correct perspective. Thanks for sticking with me all these years, and please comment again! (So few of my real-life friends even know I blog...)
Posted by Katy on 11/15/05 at 12:28 PM
I laughed and laughed at your cracker solution, Katy!! I think it's perfectly good. I only wish I'd have thought of that myself; however, there is always tomorrow . . . .

Smiles!!!
Posted by Kath on 11/15/05 at 01:13 PM
Hey, I hear ya! Blessings to you and your family.
Posted by Vicki on 11/17/05 at 01:24 PM
Program on the emergence of civilization.

"14 species of large animals capable of domesitcation in the history of mankind.
13 from Europe, Asia and northern Africa.
None from the sub-Saharan African continent. "
Favor.
And disfavor.

They point out Africans’ failed attempts to domesticate the elephant and zebra, the latter being an animal they illustrate that had utmost importance for it's applicability in transformation from a hunting/gathering to agrarian-based civilization.

The roots of racism are not of this earth.

Austrailia, aboriginals:::No domesticable animals.

The North American continent had none. Now 99% of that population is gone.

AIDS in Africa.

Organizational Heirarchy
Heirarchical order, from top to bottom:

1. MUCK - perhaps have experienced multiple universal contractions (have seen multiple big bangs), creator of the artificial intelligence humans ignorantly refer to as "god"
2. Perhaps some mid-level alien management
3. Evil/disfavored aliens - runs day-to-day operations here and perhaps elsewhere

Terrestrial management:

4. Chinese/egyptians - this may be separated into the eastern and western worlds
5. Romans - they answer to the egyptians
6. Mafia - the real-world 20th century interface that constantly turns over generationally so as to reinforce the widely-held notion of mortality
7. Jews, corporation, women, politician - Evidence exisits to suggest mafia management over all these groups.

Our society gives clues to the system in place. We all have heard the saying "He has more money than god." There is also an episode of the Simpsons where god meets Homer and says "I'm too old and rich for this."

This is the system on earth because this is the system everywhere.

I don't want to suggest the upper eschelons are evil and good is the fringe.

But they have made it abundantly clear that doing business with evil (disfavored) won't help people. They say only good would have the ear, since evil is struggling for survival, and therefore only the favored could help.

The clues are there which companies are favored and which are disfavored, but they conceal it very hard because it is so crucial.

I offer an example of historical proportions:::

People point to Walmart and cry "anti-union".
Unions enable disfavored people to live satisfactorly without addressing their disfavor. This way their family's problems are never resolved. Without the union they would have to accept the heirarchy, their own inferiority.
Unions serve to empower.
Walmart is anti-union because they are good. They try to help people address and resolve their problems by creating an enviornment where there are fewer hurdles.

Media ridicule and lawsuits are creations to reinforce people's belief that Walmart is evil in a subsegment of the indistry dominated by the middle and lower classes.
Low-cost disfavored Chinese labor is utilized by corporate america to maximize margins. They all do it. Only WalMart gets fingered because they are the ones who help, and those who seek to create confusion in the marketplace want to eliminate the vast middle class who have a real chance and instead stick with lower classes who may not work otherwise. So they dirty him up while allowing the others to appear clean.

The middle class is being deceived. They are being misled into the unfavored, and subsequently will have no assistance from their purchases with corporate america.

I believe the coining of the term "Uncle Sam" was a clue alluding to just this::Sam Walton and WalMart is one of few saviors of the peasant class.
Posted by grandpa stole bets on 11/20/05 at 07:22 PM

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Personal blog of christian writer & fallible mom Katy McKenna Raymond in Kansas City, Missouri Katy is represented by Greg Johnson at WordServe Literary Read more Katy at LateBoomer.net Follow Katy on Twitter Follow Katy on Facebook 123 Recent Posts Try Becoming Brenda Starr Off Beat Scattered That’s It So I’ve Finally Signed With An Agent. Now What? The Spoon Sciatica Sweetheart A Woman’s Train of Thought Has No Caboose However much we own, we are all still living on borrowed time After all, when restaurants shrink portions, they don’t shrink prices. As with everything in life, balance is key. Slow down, you move too fast… Yeah, I know. I have issues. Search Advanced Search Syndicate Login E me at katy @ ngenius.com	Skipping Thanksgiving It’s not how it sounds. I’m thankful, REALLY thankful. In fact, it’s a distinct possibility that this Thanksgiving may produce in me the most genuine thanks of any holiday for a very long time. Because, you know what? Thanks to the wisdom of my daughter-in-law, Brooke, I realized that my earlier plan of hosting my 35-member clan at my house—including dragging Mom here and hoisting her up five steps to the front door—wasn’t something I was looking forward to. Not one little bit. You see, in nearly 29 years of marriage, Doug and I have not spent a single Thanksgiving (or Christmas or Easter, for that matter) with just our own little family. Nor have we divided the day rather reasonably between our little family, and then either his extended family or mine. Oh, no, we don’t take turns with the in-laws. We might offend someone! You may have noticed I’ve been under a lot of stress lately, and my siblings and I don’t always get along like model adult children of a needy mother during difficult times. We can rise to occasions, as long as occasions don’t occur very often, if you know what I mean. So when Brooke suggested that maybe this year I should consider a different approach to the holiday, I took her seriously. I started gently but firmly retracting my offer of hosting the whole slew of McKennas. A few questioned me. “But why aren’t you doing it at your house?” “It’s simple, really,” I said. “I don’t want to.” And then it came out that none of them wanted to do it at their houses, either, so what exactly was the point, anyway? My siblings (with none of their family members) and I are going to eat Thanksgiving lunch with Mom at her Funny Farm dining room. Doug and his siblings are going to do the same thing at their mom’s Funny Farm, at the same time. Then, in the early evening, I will serve Thanksgiving dinner to my husband and children ONLY. What’s up with that? I’ll tell you what: I may be Skipping Thanksgiving in the way I’ve always practiced it, but in no way at all will I be skipping thanksgiving in my heart of hearts. In fact, it’s already begun. Posted by Katy on 11/14/05 at 03:38 PM Fallible Comments... Smart move, I chose a similar route a few years ago. And you know what...I started enjoying the holidays instead of dreading them. You go girl, God bless! Posted by Bonnie Calhoun on 11/14/05 at 06:30 PM Hey girlfriend - I'm proud of you for doing this! You know as we get a little older and sexier, we also get a little bolder and braver in doing things that are right and good for us. Something quite unusual for a mom, wife, sister, daughter, employee, woman. I was reminded today, however, that we don't want to go overboard on that "bolder" and turn into a little old lady "biddy". (That's not a bad word, is it?) Ha! Seriously now - here is my story about that. Today, I was leaving Walmart with $315 of goods. Needless to say, my cart overfloweth and my feet hurteth. I was suddenly stopped at the door as the wonderful WallyWorld alarm went off alerting me to the fact that I must have stolen something. Hmmmm..... Two employees headed my way to make sure I didn't leave with the goods. "Ma'am, we have to go through your bags." This just did not sit real well with me today. I had ever so carefully organized and stacked eaach of my bags of goodies so nothing would smash, spill, or tip. Now these two strangers wanted to go through my mound of bags. I firmly stated that every little bag better end up in exactly the same place I had it - and stepped back to watch them inspect. I was not about to help in this endeavor. Ten minutes passes by as they continue to search - finally the culprit is located - a big bad scary bottle of Advil. Now come on - Advil?? Why in the world would Advil set off the alarm? I asked them if that was normal - and they assured me that it was. They have to put security bands on Advil because so many people steal it. I guess if you are a thief, you probably have a lot of stress headaches so it does make sense. But, really - come on!!! Advil?? They managed to restack the bags almost as well as I had them the first go around and then I was free to go. I wanted to head to the service desk and tell Mr. Walmart he owes me something for taking 20 minutes of my valuable time and inconveniencing me as such. But, I didn't - instead, I marched out the door, more than ever eager to get to my car. Here is where the "biddy" part comes in. As I'm walking to my car, pushing the mountain of groceries along, an older lady comes up beside me in her car and begins to turn into a parking spot. The spot just happens to be on my right and she turns right in front of me, cutting me off and seriously almost hitting my cart with her car!!! She missed it by like a hair or two. I was in shock. "Hello in there? Anyone home?" I wanted to knock on her head a little myself and see. However, I didn't - being the nice non-biddy that I am, I marched to my car and began unloading groceries. I did keep my eyeballs on Mrs. Biddy though, hoping she might just (dare) look my way. I had a few things I might have shared with her. But, she didn't. I'm sure God kept the lady's head straight. He knew that at that moment, my non-biddy-menopausal-mind was not feeling too stable. By this time, I'm wondering if the entire world is after me, so I get in the car and head straight home. I've made it through the whole evening without incident. I shall do a little fiction writing and head to bed with sore feet. Maybe tomorrow will be peaceful. I don't plan on leaving the house. It was gret to see you this weekend, Miss Katy. We really should get together once in awhile, you know? Hey - do you remember what we discussed in Nashville? Critique partner??? Wooops - kind of forgot that one. Still up for it? Hugs and smiles, Kath Posted by Kath on 11/14/05 at 08:39 PM I've done that . . . and it really is so freeing. Hard to do - perhaps just hard, sometimes, to define what I really want. And, Kath - ohhhh, that WalMart thing! To me Wal Mart is a Necessary Evil that I try to avoid until, at the end of the road, it becomes necessary . . . and it always seems to contain some element of evil with each visit. I almost always leave Wal Mart extremely frustrated and relieved when my vehicle finally exits their parking lot! Posted by Ame on 11/14/05 at 10:08 PM Really? I'm not the only one then? I know - I feel just like that about the Super Centers. How awesome would it be if we had it like the 50s again and could go downtown to shop? I miss it terribly. Kath Posted by Kath on 11/14/05 at 10:22 PM Hummmm . . . well . . . I wasn't born till 64, so I don't have memory of the 50's :) hehehehehe However, it seems that in all our efforts to simplify, we have actually created more complexity . . . and definitely more stress! Wal Mart and Stress are truly synonymous to me, and I'm repelled by both!!! Posted by Ame on 11/15/05 at 01:02 AM I am so glad we don't have to check you into the funny farm. When you said you were having the McKenna's over for Thanksgiving I was almost speechless. Which you know for me is something rare. Just the thought of it for you this year gave me chills, and not the good kind. You have emerged into a mentally healthy adult woman. I'm so proud. You will be so glad you have chosen this kind of Thanksgiving. We did it when my dad was in the nursing home. It is different but what stays the same in this world anyway? You know the answer only God. Bravo girlfriend! You know I love ya. Terri Posted by Terri on 11/15/05 at 11:09 AM Bonnie--Thanks for your support! I hesitated to use the word "dread," but yes, that's what it's turned into. But as of this moment, I'm looking forward to this holiday very much... Kath--You're a hoot! "Older and sexier," huh? Hey, maybe you're onto something... Your Walmart experience is so typical. Now I'll admit the naughty thing I did to Walmart. I tried to return a box of crackers. I'd opened them and found there was not a single grain of salt in the whole box--so I decided to trade them in. The guy at the door put a sticker on them and said to stand in line at customer service. I obeyed. But after standing in an unmoving line for 20 minutes, I said, No more. I took my crackers back to the cracker aisle, put the plainly open box on the shelf (so that no one would purchase it), took the little pink sticker and attached it to a brand new box, and walked out of the store with "my" crackers.I refused to spend the rest of my life in that line. Justified? I report...you decide. Posted by Katy on 11/15/05 at 12:24 PM Ame--It's VERY hard to define what we want, especially when we're not used to asking ourselves that question. Terri--Me? Mentally healthy? Coming from you, I consider that quite an endorsement. I think you've made more strides that any woman I know and I'm so proud of you for it. You are accomplished at keeping things in perspective, and at trusting God to give you the correct perspective. Thanks for sticking with me all these years, and please comment again! (So few of my real-life friends even know I blog...) Posted by Katy on 11/15/05 at 12:28 PM I laughed and laughed at your cracker solution, Katy!! I think it's perfectly good. I only wish I'd have thought of that myself; however, there is always tomorrow . . . . Smiles!!! Posted by Kath on 11/15/05 at 01:13 PM Hey, I hear ya! Blessings to you and your family. Posted by Vicki on 11/17/05 at 01:24 PM Program on the emergence of civilization. "14 species of large animals capable of domesitcation in the history of mankind. 13 from Europe, Asia and northern Africa. None from the sub-Saharan African continent. " Favor. And disfavor. They point out Africans’ failed attempts to domesticate the elephant and zebra, the latter being an animal they illustrate that had utmost importance for it's applicability in transformation from a hunting/gathering to agrarian-based civilization. The roots of racism are not of this earth. Austrailia, aboriginals:::No domesticable animals. The North American continent had none. Now 99% of that population is gone. AIDS in Africa. Organizational Heirarchy Heirarchical order, from top to bottom: 1. MUCK - perhaps have experienced multiple universal contractions (have seen multiple big bangs), creator of the artificial intelligence humans ignorantly refer to as "god" 2. Perhaps some mid-level alien management 3. Evil/disfavored aliens - runs day-to-day operations here and perhaps elsewhere Terrestrial management: 4. Chinese/egyptians - this may be separated into the eastern and western worlds 5. Romans - they answer to the egyptians 6. Mafia - the real-world 20th century interface that constantly turns over generationally so as to reinforce the widely-held notion of mortality 7. Jews, corporation, women, politician - Evidence exisits to suggest mafia management over all these groups. Our society gives clues to the system in place. We all have heard the saying "He has more money than god." There is also an episode of the Simpsons where god meets Homer and says "I'm too old and rich for this." This is the system on earth because this is the system everywhere. I don't want to suggest the upper eschelons are evil and good is the fringe. But they have made it abundantly clear that doing business with evil (disfavored) won't help people. They say only good would have the ear, since evil is struggling for survival, and therefore only the favored could help. The clues are there which companies are favored and which are disfavored, but they conceal it very hard because it is so crucial. I offer an example of historical proportions::: People point to Walmart and cry "anti-union". Unions enable disfavored people to live satisfactorly without addressing their disfavor. This way their family's problems are never resolved. Without the union they would have to accept the heirarchy, their own inferiority. Unions serve to empower. Walmart is anti-union because they are good. They try to help people address and resolve their problems by creating an enviornment where there are fewer hurdles. Media ridicule and lawsuits are creations to reinforce people's belief that Walmart is evil in a subsegment of the indistry dominated by the middle and lower classes. Low-cost disfavored Chinese labor is utilized by corporate america to maximize margins. They all do it. Only WalMart gets fingered because they are the ones who help, and those who seek to create confusion in the marketplace want to eliminate the vast middle class who have a real chance and instead stick with lower classes who may not work otherwise. So they dirty him up while allowing the others to appear clean. The middle class is being deceived. They are being misled into the unfavored, and subsequently will have no assistance from their purchases with corporate america. I believe the coining of the term "Uncle Sam" was a clue alluding to just this::Sam Walton and WalMart is one of few saviors of the peasant class. Posted by grandpa stole bets on 11/20/05 at 07:22 PM Page 1 of 1 pages Commenting is not available in this weblog entry. Next entry: But Who's Counting? Previous entry: The Tell-Tale Sun << Back to main


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Personal blog of christianwriter & fallible momKaty McKenna Raymondin Kansas City, Missouri

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Skipping Thanksgiving

Personal blog of christian
writer & fallible mom
Katy McKenna Raymond
in Kansas City, Missouri