R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I’m learning about a form of disrepect for my husband that I’d never acknowledged until now.

You probably won’t be surprised if I tell you I can be mouthy. I pretty much say what’s on my mind, and it doesn’t always come out in the most diplomatic of terms. I end up apologizing to Doug a lot for my verbal indiscretions, for they are legion.

But you know what? I have at my wifely disposal far more insidious forms of disrespect, and I know how to use them, too. The one that’s on my mind today is recklessly spending the money he worked so hard to earn on stuff that doesn’t reflect our decided-upon-together priorities or our values.

In our house, Doug earns most of the income, but the principle is the same regardless. In a relationship where both partners are equal earners, disrespect can still prevail. What about the wife who calls her husband’s paycheck “our money,” but insists that her paycheck is hers alone? A single person could even show himself disrespect by the crummy, unpremeditated choices he makes with the income he’s been blessed with.

I listened to Dave Ramsey for a few minutes while driving this morning. He talked about the Proverbs 31 woman. “The heart of her husband trusts in her. He will have no lack of gain.”

My husband suffers no lack of income, but in the past few years, he’s had a lack of gain. For twenty years now, he’s let me handle the finances without us meeting together frequently to discuss the situation because, well, he doesn’t want to know that much.

I did great for most of those years, but as our income increased, so did my entitlement mentality.

Doug admitted today that he REALLY doesn’t want to get involved in the finances, but knows we’ve got to do this thing together. And I apologized for the disrespect I’ve shown him by taking the money and running with it.

It’s a start, and a good one. Kind of makes me want to put on some Aretha Franklin and dance my heart out.

Posted by Katy on 07/13/06 at 12:00 PM

Fallible Comments...

Beautiful Blog!

My MIL used to say that a woman could throw more out the back door than a man could bring in the front.

I just started listening to Dave Ramsey - wonderful and inspiring show. We are working on our finances too. Good Luck to you!!
Posted by Vicki on 07/13/06 at 07:39 PM
Katy, this post hit home with me. My hubby and I have much in common with you two. And respect regarding money is something we need to see with new eyes. I'm glad we're not the only ones in this boat.
suzan
Posted by Suzan Robertson on 07/14/06 at 02:48 PM
Vicki--Whoa! My MIL never said that! :) Love Dave Ramsey. Hope you guys can make it work for you!

Suzan--My little buddy! So nice to see you here. You and your hub are not alone. I've decided coming clean on some of my crummy habits and attitudes might help some other people feel than can get "un-stuck", too. Will you be at ACFW?
Posted by Katy on 07/15/06 at 12:36 PM
I'll be at ACFW. Can't WAIT to see you.

Make sure you're at the FIF Friday Fest at ACFW. The FIF/MASTER'S Artist gang is getting together for dinner Friday night during the conf. Check the FIF posts on ACFW
Posted by Suzan on 07/15/06 at 05:49 PM
Suzan--Oh, goody! I haven't been a faithful commenter on Master's Artist or FIF lately, but I would love to meet everyone! Thanks for the heads up!
Posted by Katy on 07/16/06 at 11:38 AM
That's what I'm talking about, babe. It takes guts to have the insight into yourself that you did, and I'm proud of you. You're getting on the same page with your husband and the two of you are working together. And now you're on your way.
Posted by The DEBTective on 08/28/06 at 10:52 AM

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Personal blog of christian writer & fallible mom Katy McKenna Raymond in Kansas City, Missouri Katy is represented by Greg Johnson at WordServe Literary Read more Katy at LateBoomer.net Follow Katy on Twitter Follow Katy on Facebook 123 Recent Posts Try Becoming Brenda Starr Off Beat Scattered That’s It So I’ve Finally Signed With An Agent. Now What? The Spoon Sciatica Sweetheart A Woman’s Train of Thought Has No Caboose However much we own, we are all still living on borrowed time After all, when restaurants shrink portions, they don’t shrink prices. As with everything in life, balance is key. Slow down, you move too fast… Yeah, I know. I have issues. Search Advanced Search Syndicate Login E me at katy @ ngenius.com	R-E-S-P-E-C-T I’m learning about a form of disrepect for my husband that I’d never acknowledged until now. You probably won’t be surprised if I tell you I can be mouthy. I pretty much say what’s on my mind, and it doesn’t always come out in the most diplomatic of terms. I end up apologizing to Doug a lot for my verbal indiscretions, for they are legion. But you know what? I have at my wifely disposal far more insidious forms of disrespect, and I know how to use them, too. The one that’s on my mind today is recklessly spending the money he worked so hard to earn on stuff that doesn’t reflect our decided-upon-together priorities or our values. In our house, Doug earns most of the income, but the principle is the same regardless. In a relationship where both partners are equal earners, disrespect can still prevail. What about the wife who calls her husband’s paycheck “our money,” but insists that her paycheck is hers alone? A single person could even show himself disrespect by the crummy, unpremeditated choices he makes with the income he’s been blessed with. I listened to Dave Ramsey for a few minutes while driving this morning. He talked about the Proverbs 31 woman. “The heart of her husband trusts in her. He will have no lack of gain.” My husband suffers no lack of income, but in the past few years, he’s had a lack of gain. For twenty years now, he’s let me handle the finances without us meeting together frequently to discuss the situation because, well, he doesn’t want to know that much. I did great for most of those years, but as our income increased, so did my entitlement mentality. Doug admitted today that he REALLY doesn’t want to get involved in the finances, but knows we’ve got to do this thing together. And I apologized for the disrespect I’ve shown him by taking the money and running with it. It’s a start, and a good one. Kind of makes me want to put on some Aretha Franklin and dance my heart out. Posted by Katy on 07/13/06 at 12:00 PM Fallible Comments... Beautiful Blog! My MIL used to say that a woman could throw more out the back door than a man could bring in the front. I just started listening to Dave Ramsey - wonderful and inspiring show. We are working on our finances too. Good Luck to you!! Posted by Vicki on 07/13/06 at 07:39 PM Katy, this post hit home with me. My hubby and I have much in common with you two. And respect regarding money is something we need to see with new eyes. I'm glad we're not the only ones in this boat. suzan Posted by Suzan Robertson on 07/14/06 at 02:48 PM Vicki--Whoa! My MIL never said that! :) Love Dave Ramsey. Hope you guys can make it work for you! Suzan--My little buddy! So nice to see you here. You and your hub are not alone. I've decided coming clean on some of my crummy habits and attitudes might help some other people feel than can get "un-stuck", too. Will you be at ACFW? Posted by Katy on 07/15/06 at 12:36 PM I'll be at ACFW. Can't WAIT to see you. Make sure you're at the FIF Friday Fest at ACFW. The FIF/MASTER'S Artist gang is getting together for dinner Friday night during the conf. Check the FIF posts on ACFW Posted by Suzan on 07/15/06 at 05:49 PM Suzan--Oh, goody! I haven't been a faithful commenter on Master's Artist or FIF lately, but I would love to meet everyone! Thanks for the heads up! Posted by Katy on 07/16/06 at 11:38 AM That's what I'm talking about, babe. It takes guts to have the insight into yourself that you did, and I'm proud of you. You're getting on the same page with your husband and the two of you are working together. And now you're on your way. Posted by The DEBTective on 08/28/06 at 10:52 AM Page 1 of 1 pages Commenting is not available in this weblog entry. Next entry: Day 31 Previous entry: On The Table << Back to main


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R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Personal blog of christian
writer & fallible mom
Katy McKenna Raymond
in Kansas City, Missouri