Katy McKenna Raymond  
Personal blog of christian writer Katy McKenna Raymond in Kansas City, Missouri

Personal blog of christian
writer & fallible mom
Katy McKenna Raymond
in Kansas City, Missouri


Katy is represented by
Greg Johnson at
WordServe Literary

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LateBoomer.net

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Not Exactly Steve Martin, But Still…

You could say the guy I'm sleeping with is a real jerk. You'd be partly right--he is a jerk. But I'm SURE not sleeping.

You know that crazy whole-body (or sometimes just one random limb) kind of jerking you do when you're drifting off to sleep? I've always heard that it's some kind of built-in defense mechanism that humans are equipped with as a kind of double-checking system.

"Are you SURE you should be going to sleep now?" the Big Jerk asks. "Are all your kids safely in their beds?" (Another Jerk.) "Have you locked the doors or did you forget again?" (Huge Jerk.) You're not driving a car down the highway at 75 m.p.h. right now, are you?" (Jerk, Jerk, JERK!)

It must be for self-defense, because it sure isn't for the protection of the person sharing the bed with the jerk. For three nights now, I've slept with my arms crossed over my face, afraid Doug would lash out at me again right after he says something nutty in his sleep like, "Come here and snuggle with me, babe..."

I'm not falling for it anymore, buddy. What started out as some fairly typical, within-the-norm falling-off-to-dreamland jerking has turned into several nights of 8-hour-long sparring matches. One of his jerks is enough to practically bounce me off the bed.

"Wake up!" I hear myself say all night long. "You're jerking again! What are you dreaming about?"

"Huh? What's the matter? I'm not dreaming. I'm sleeping just fine..."

That makes one of us.

I thought when we purchased the Select Comfort bed--now more commonly called the Sleep Number bed--that my problems would be solved. We found our individual numbers, which are so wildly divergent from each other that you'd think it would be like sleeping in two different beds, but NO.

I gave it a good five years before purchasing a mattress topper last week. It's made of what they call Memory Foam, and is about two inches thick. If I'm not mistaken, this is the substance that TempurPedic mattresses are made of. You've seen the ads: A lady jumping on the bed with a full cup of coffee on the other side and not one drop spills. How could I resist?

The Memory Foam's done wonders for my neck and back, which is a good thing. Because after Doug beats me up all night, I need all the therapeutic relief I can get.

And a huge cup of coffee on the side.
Posted by Katy on 01/25/05 at 09:06 AM
Fallible Comments...
  1. Katy
    First of all I'm guy.
    Although I admire you a lot, the guy code means that I must side with other guys.
    That said, I think this counts as nagging. It may not be face to face but I know Doug reads your blog.

    Nag, Nag, Nag

    and funny of course. ;)

    Take Care
    Michael
    -----
    Posted by Michael  on  01/25/05  at  05:22 PM
  2. THIS counts as nagging? Tell me it ain't so! Hey, he's not the one losing sleep here...in fact, he's as rested and refreshed as I've ever seen him.

    Michael, I know you have to side with the man, and I don't blame you. But if this is nagging, I'm in more trouble than I knew!! ;)
    Posted by Katy Raymond  on  01/25/05  at  06:57 PM
  3. No way is this nagging. I'm a girl and this is simply an expression of frustration. Nope, no nag here.

    And I agree 110% with you Katy! While my husband does not spend the entire night jerking around he does have a few wild flails just as I'm finally falling off to sleep.

    I'll join you for coffee.
    Posted by Tina  on  01/25/05  at  08:24 PM
  4. Katy and Tina,
    I am also a victim of my husband's night-time flailings. When we first got married, he used to play with and stroke my hair as he drifted off to sleep. After having my hair practically ripped out at the roots when the "jerks" began, I decided I could sleep just fine without this bedtime ritual.
    We gals have to stick together.
    Carrie
    P.S. I don't think this counts as nagging.
    Posted by Carrie K.  on  01/25/05  at  10:45 PM
  5. Definitely not nagging. I've seen nagging, and this is not it. This is more along the lines of a threat - "Cool it, or sleep on the couch." ;)
    Posted by Doug  on  01/26/05  at  02:33 AM
  6. Hah! It always gets interesting when the husband gets around to commenting!
    Posted by Kevin  on  01/26/05  at  04:51 AM
  7. Tina--Thank you for the no-nag vote of confidence! Regular or decaf?

    Carrie--Ouch! Your man sounds really sweet, but enough is enough! You're too young for Rogaine! I'm sorry, but if I sense Doug's going to have "one of those nights," I'm as far on the other side of the bed as possible... :)

    Doug--Smart alec.

    Kevin--Is this Kevin the college student? Your day's coming..... ;)
    Posted by Katy Raymond  on  01/26/05  at  03:04 PM
    8. Page 1 of 1 pages
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