Nor Do I Play One On TV!

Over lo these many years, which sometimes feel like many more than they actually are, I’ve developed something of a medical professional persona.

I say persona, of course, because it’s not possible for me to actually be a medical professional, if by that term one means someone who has received at least a modicum of formal education in the field. My formal education, which forces me to tick the box “some college” when filling out online forms to receive free samples from WalMart, consists primarily of credits in subjects that make my heart beat faster: American and British Literature, Speech, Composition, Western Civilization, Novel Writing, and Creative Writing. To my mind, I’d have a thoroughly well-rounded education if I wound things up with Art History, Photography, Interior Design, Graphic Design, Vocal Performance, and Theater.

I would probably still complete a degree if I weren’t so darned afraid of math and science—-the two fields in which I find myself immersed in “real life” on a daily basis. HOW did I end up the bookkeeper for the business my husband and I own? I LOATHE tax forms almost as much as I resent our tax liability. I intensely dislike managing cash flow for a small business, since it requires a diligent setting-aside of money during the great months to compensate for the not-so-great and sometimes, well, I don’t feel like being diligent.

But here’s the thing: Even though math is not my favorite subject, I am competent to a fault. And therein lies my downfall.

The same is true with medical stuff——which in addition to math, involves plenty of the science I have always dreaded. Because of an unrelenting amount of personal experience——with my own body, the bodies of The Moms, and the bodies of various and sundry other friends and relatives——I now get asked CONTINUALLY by medical professionals whether I am an RN.

This question usually arises after a short conversation in which I am able to recall from memory my mother’s medical history dating back to 1964, including the dates of her gall bladder surgery, her parathyroid surgery, her liver biopsy, and the fall in which she shattered both her elbows.

I throw medical terminology around with the best of them, and in a way, I think it gives the real pros a bit of a thrill to know they’ve got a live one on the other end. But it’s not just words, either. I actually know how to suction a trach and administer a tube feeding. It’s amazing the stuff you learn when you must, in order to be the friend and caregiver God has called you to be.

But here’s the deal: Because I’ve saved a few lives here and there, folks are now coming out of the woodwork to say they “want me on their team” when their own bodies begin a sorry decline. Typically, these folks are married to very mellow spouses, who might not even recognize common signs of impending death like not breathing or having a pulse, but instead interpret these subtle signals on the part of the grievously ill to be simply indications that the poor, overwrought soul has finally “relaxed.”

Relaxed, my eye! Whenever anyone I know relaxes, I get them to the ER, fast! And so therefore, yes, my reputation is spreading as someone who just might be able to save your life in a pinch, too, and who wouldn’t want to stay in that person’s good graces? Mine’s a hard gig, but somebody’s gotta do it.

In the meantime, my dear husband is also getting requests from our aging acquaintances, since they’ve seen him, too, exude a quiet confidence in the face of life’s most stressful situations. He has a small notebook in which he notes their names when the solicitations come in, so determined is he to be of service whenever the need presents itself.

I worry about him, though. I know how exhausted I’ve become trying to care for the physical needs of those under my wing. I’d hate to see him meet the same fate. But what can I do? He seems resigned to his future as he adds each notation to his book, and assures all who request his services that he will remain stalwart in the face of challenges, and would not dream of failing them during the hour of their need.

So, here’s the arrangement: I’ll handle everything until they croak. Then he’ll play Irish whistle at their funerals.

Honestly, we’re both more than gratified to have made the cut.

Posted by Katy on 01/27/09 at 04:59 PM

Fallible Comments...

Finally I understand what is meant by the phrase "holistic care".

Nice use of FB and Tweets, btw.
Posted by Daniel on 01/27/09 at 07:45 PM
Great idea, Katy. Maybe I could read the memoirs while Dave plays the Irish whistle?

Blessings!
Posted by Hannah on 01/27/09 at 08:00 PM
Oh, yeah...I know you're MY "person"! :)
Jim and I spent 5 hours in the ER yesterday. He called in the middle of my day, bawling, saying that he needed a ride to the hospital. His headache was a 10/10. I don't know if I've ever seen it that bad. After an IV, four drugs and lots of sleep, he is better today.
BTW..I'm on board to be your "person", too.
Posted by Bridget on 01/29/09 at 07:30 PM
It's interesting...you have hit on a private fear of mine. My hubby is a very nurturing man, but dense about some of my physical complaints. I think about it sometimes--which one of our children might provide that diligent oversight I may need.
Posted by Terri on 01/30/09 at 04:09 AM
Daniel--Holistic, yes. Also, my hubby and I have "become one." Your one-stop shop for end of life care! Yikes.

Hannah--We will provide you the whole range of cultural experiences!

Bridget---Ooooh, ick. Poor you and JIM. I have only made the migraine run to the ER once, but I remember the horror of it. I also remember the Demerol of it. I hope he is all the way better!!!!

Terri---This blog post really came out of my own fears. I know exactly what you're saying---I'm saying it, too. I plan to add another name to my Medical Power of Attorney list. Everyone should have two, anyway. Nuturing is nice (my man is oh, so caring...), but doesn't always fill the bill in certain situations.
Posted by Katy on 01/30/09 at 12:40 PM
There are certainly a lot of details like that to take into consideration. That's a great point to bring up. I offer the thoughts above as general inspiration but clearly there are questions like the one you bring up where the most important thing will be working in honest good faith. I don't know if best practices have emerged around things like that, but I am sure that your job is clearly identified as a fair game if you are commenting as an individual. <a href="http://www.exhibeoutdoordisplays.com/">Outdoor Display</a>
Posted by Outdoor Display on 02/01/09 at 02:58 PM
I agree with you! This was actually what I was looking for all over the net, and I am glad that I finally stumbled into your article! <a href="http://www.buynowmeds.org">Brand vs Generic Drugs</a>
Posted by Generic Medication on 02/27/09 at 12:53 PM
Great piece of article. I love reading your posts, they inspire me. Thanks a lot for this.
Posted by TV for PC on 04/28/09 at 07:59 PM
You have great blog. I will leave here my link if you dont mind?
Posted by Stock Trading Tips on 05/06/09 at 06:24 PM
The majority of traders have collected their knowledge by trading stocks. In time they notice many traders are not interested in stocks but other tradable symbols such as commodities or Forex.
Posted by stock update on 10/28/10 at 04:58 PM

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Personal blog of christian writer & fallible mom Katy McKenna Raymond in Kansas City, Missouri Katy is represented by Greg Johnson at WordServe Literary Read more Katy at LateBoomer.net Follow Katy on Twitter Follow Katy on Facebook 123 Recent Posts Try Becoming Brenda Starr Off Beat Scattered That’s It So I’ve Finally Signed With An Agent. Now What? The Spoon Sciatica Sweetheart A Woman’s Train of Thought Has No Caboose However much we own, we are all still living on borrowed time After all, when restaurants shrink portions, they don’t shrink prices. As with everything in life, balance is key. Slow down, you move too fast… Yeah, I know. I have issues. Search Advanced Search Syndicate Login E me at katy @ ngenius.com	Nor Do I Play One On TV! Over lo these many years, which sometimes feel like many more than they actually are, I’ve developed something of a medical professional persona. I say persona, of course, because it’s not possible for me to actually be a medical professional, if by that term one means someone who has received at least a modicum of formal education in the field. My formal education, which forces me to tick the box “some college” when filling out online forms to receive free samples from WalMart, consists primarily of credits in subjects that make my heart beat faster: American and British Literature, Speech, Composition, Western Civilization, Novel Writing, and Creative Writing. To my mind, I’d have a thoroughly well-rounded education if I wound things up with Art History, Photography, Interior Design, Graphic Design, Vocal Performance, and Theater. I would probably still complete a degree if I weren’t so darned afraid of math and science—-the two fields in which I find myself immersed in “real life” on a daily basis. HOW did I end up the bookkeeper for the business my husband and I own? I LOATHE tax forms almost as much as I resent our tax liability. I intensely dislike managing cash flow for a small business, since it requires a diligent setting-aside of money during the great months to compensate for the not-so-great and sometimes, well, I don’t feel like being diligent. But here’s the thing: Even though math is not my favorite subject, I am competent to a fault. And therein lies my downfall. The same is true with medical stuff——which in addition to math, involves plenty of the science I have always dreaded. Because of an unrelenting amount of personal experience——with my own body, the bodies of The Moms, and the bodies of various and sundry other friends and relatives——I now get asked CONTINUALLY by medical professionals whether I am an RN. This question usually arises after a short conversation in which I am able to recall from memory my mother’s medical history dating back to 1964, including the dates of her gall bladder surgery, her parathyroid surgery, her liver biopsy, and the fall in which she shattered both her elbows. I throw medical terminology around with the best of them, and in a way, I think it gives the real pros a bit of a thrill to know they’ve got a live one on the other end. But it’s not just words, either. I actually know how to suction a trach and administer a tube feeding. It’s amazing the stuff you learn when you must, in order to be the friend and caregiver God has called you to be. But here’s the deal: Because I’ve saved a few lives here and there, folks are now coming out of the woodwork to say they “want me on their team” when their own bodies begin a sorry decline. Typically, these folks are married to very mellow spouses, who might not even recognize common signs of impending death like not breathing or having a pulse, but instead interpret these subtle signals on the part of the grievously ill to be simply indications that the poor, overwrought soul has finally “relaxed.” Relaxed, my eye! Whenever anyone I know relaxes, I get them to the ER, fast! And so therefore, yes, my reputation is spreading as someone who just might be able to save your life in a pinch, too, and who wouldn’t want to stay in that person’s good graces? Mine’s a hard gig, but somebody’s gotta do it. In the meantime, my dear husband is also getting requests from our aging acquaintances, since they’ve seen him, too, exude a quiet confidence in the face of life’s most stressful situations. He has a small notebook in which he notes their names when the solicitations come in, so determined is he to be of service whenever the need presents itself. I worry about him, though. I know how exhausted I’ve become trying to care for the physical needs of those under my wing. I’d hate to see him meet the same fate. But what can I do? He seems resigned to his future as he adds each notation to his book, and assures all who request his services that he will remain stalwart in the face of challenges, and would not dream of failing them during the hour of their need. So, here’s the arrangement: I’ll handle everything until they croak. Then he’ll play Irish whistle at their funerals. Honestly, we’re both more than gratified to have made the cut. Posted by Katy on 01/27/09 at 04:59 PM Fallible Comments... Finally I understand what is meant by the phrase "holistic care". Nice use of FB and Tweets, btw. Posted by Daniel on 01/27/09 at 07:45 PM Great idea, Katy. Maybe I could read the memoirs while Dave plays the Irish whistle? Blessings! Posted by Hannah on 01/27/09 at 08:00 PM Oh, yeah...I know you're MY "person"! :) Jim and I spent 5 hours in the ER yesterday. He called in the middle of my day, bawling, saying that he needed a ride to the hospital. His headache was a 10/10. I don't know if I've ever seen it that bad. After an IV, four drugs and lots of sleep, he is better today. BTW..I'm on board to be your "person", too. Posted by Bridget on 01/29/09 at 07:30 PM It's interesting...you have hit on a private fear of mine. My hubby is a very nurturing man, but dense about some of my physical complaints. I think about it sometimes--which one of our children might provide that diligent oversight I may need. Posted by Terri on 01/30/09 at 04:09 AM Daniel--Holistic, yes. Also, my hubby and I have "become one." Your one-stop shop for end of life care! Yikes. Hannah--We will provide you the whole range of cultural experiences! Bridget---Ooooh, ick. Poor you and JIM. I have only made the migraine run to the ER once, but I remember the horror of it. I also remember the Demerol of it. I hope he is all the way better!!!! Terri---This blog post really came out of my own fears. I know exactly what you're saying---I'm saying it, too. I plan to add another name to my Medical Power of Attorney list. Everyone should have two, anyway. Nuturing is nice (my man is oh, so caring...), but doesn't always fill the bill in certain situations. Posted by Katy on 01/30/09 at 12:40 PM There are certainly a lot of details like that to take into consideration. That's a great point to bring up. I offer the thoughts above as general inspiration but clearly there are questions like the one you bring up where the most important thing will be working in honest good faith. I don't know if best practices have emerged around things like that, but I am sure that your job is clearly identified as a fair game if you are commenting as an individual. <a href="http://www.exhibeoutdoordisplays.com/">Outdoor Display</a> Posted by Outdoor Display on 02/01/09 at 02:58 PM I agree with you! This was actually what I was looking for all over the net, and I am glad that I finally stumbled into your article! <a href="http://www.buynowmeds.org">Brand vs Generic Drugs</a> Posted by Generic Medication on 02/27/09 at 12:53 PM Great piece of article. I love reading your posts, they inspire me. Thanks a lot for this. Posted by TV for PC on 04/28/09 at 07:59 PM You have great blog. I will leave here my link if you dont mind? Posted by Stock Trading Tips on 05/06/09 at 06:24 PM The majority of traders have collected their knowledge by trading stocks. In time they notice many traders are not interested in stocks but other tradable symbols such as commodities or Forex. Posted by stock update on 10/28/10 at 04:58 PM Page 1 of 1 pages Commenting is not available in this weblog entry. Next entry: Test-Driving Your Medical Power-Of-Attorney Previous entry: The World-Wide Web, Minus---Apparently---The Kingdom Of Bahrain << Back to main


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Personal blog of christianwriter & fallible momKaty McKenna Raymondin Kansas City, Missouri

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Nor Do I Play One On TV!

Personal blog of christian
writer & fallible mom
Katy McKenna Raymond
in Kansas City, Missouri