Katy McKenna Raymond  
Personal blog of christian writer Katy McKenna Raymond in Kansas City, Missouri

Personal blog of christian
writer & fallible mom
Katy McKenna Raymond
in Kansas City, Missouri


Katy is represented by
Greg Johnson at
WordServe Literary

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LateBoomer.net

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Maid—And Made—Of Honor

Kellam'sI haven't blogged about Terri Schiavo, and I'm not exactly going to now. Instead I want to tell you about my friends, the Kellams. I feel like I almost know Terri because I knew Tim Kellam. And it hurts to think about what's happening to her right now.

Maybe you've never been privileged to care for a person with a traumatic brain injury, but if you haven't, you've missed something beautiful.

It's one thing that I was able to help provide physical care for my maid-of-honor's husband when he nearly died after crashing his car in February, 1992. Yes, my friend JoAnn taught me how to administer his tube feeding and help her transfer him from the bed to the wheelchair and suction his trach--all skills she was forced to acquire when his insurance ran out for rehab care and she chose to bring him home rather than put him in a skilled nursing facility.

During the three years Tim lived after the accident, when he was in what the medical profession calls a persistent vegetative state, he and I became fast friends. You see, I had something of a resentment against Tim before the accident. I wasn't always sure he was treating my girlfriend like she deserved to be treated. In other words, he just plain old made me mad.

But everything changed when we met up again after the accident and our eyes locked. He couldn't speak, but that didn't make much difference in our relationship. He'd never been one for idle words anyway. I could tell by the look on his face that he appreciated me helping his wife, who'd decided--against the prevailing wisdom of the medical profession--to refrain from pulling the plugs.

It was more than that, though. Tim and I had our own thing going. I could tell Tim my worst, corniest jokes, and he'd do this wonderful, silent laugh thing that still makes me smile just to think of it. Tim could communicate more with the crinkles around his eyes and mouth than most people could if they wrote entire volumes. He and I both had to humble ourselves and face the facts--he needed help and I needed to care.

It's hard to believe it's been nearly ten years since Tim died. I wouldn't trade the friendship he gave me for anything.

And as for my maid of honor? I've never met anyone who kept her wedding vows with more devotion--or more honor--than JoAnn Holbrook Kellam.

I love you, Jo.
Posted by Katy on 03/22/05 at 04:40 PM
Fallible Comments...
  1. Hi Katy! Thought I would stop in to see how you are doing. Glad you wrote the story about Tim - maybe more people will understand Terri's parent's feeling. Hope all is well. We will have to get together some time soon. Tell Doug hi for me! Karen
    -----
    Posted by Karen Winney  on  03/23/05  at  02:54 AM
  2. Katy,

    What a touching story. Your friend sounds like a wonderful woman. Thanks for sharing.

    Blessings,
    Mary G.
    MADE OF HONOR, Steeple Hill, 1/06
    Posted by Mary Griffith  on  03/23/05  at  04:17 PM
  3. Karen! How are you, girl? Glad you popped in here. We miss seeing you guys. Happy Easter!

    Mary! In the back of my mind, I knew the title of your to-be-released chick lit is "Made of Honor," but I totally forgot that when I stole your title! (Titles aren't copyrighted, right? Sheesh!)

    Yes, my "made of honor" is one terrific woman, and her hubby was a great friend, too.
    Posted by Katy Raymond  on  03/23/05  at  04:40 PM
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