Losers

"So what's going on in your head?" asks Dr. T, a personal acquaintance of mine these past thirty years. In recent times, I only see him when I require his medical attention, perhaps once a year.

He and his wife lost their son three autumns ago in a car accident. He was eighteen, and beautiful. I am a little self-conscious when inquiring after his family, and he is mildly leery asking about my health.

"Who knows?" I say, only it doesn't quite come out like that since by now he's jabbing around in my mouth with flashlights and pokers. "I've got a couple of weird cysts or something on my gum, one sore tooth, elevated cerebro-spinal fluid, a probable case of TMJ complete with acute facial pain, and....what did you say? I'm deaf in that ear--"

We laugh. We are both at ease now. He knows I'm going to ask, and he's ready.

"Apart from that," I say, "I'm fine. But what I want to know is, how are you?"

"Apart from that, I'm fine."

It is all I ask, and all he needs to say. Spoken or unspoken, that will always be there. Making us just fine, apart from it, but never completely able to be apart.

We are well-versed in the language of loss, and have compressed the syllables until they are few and succinct. He smiles a little under his mask, I can tell. His eyes even twinkle the tiniest bit, astonishing me.

Later he tells me a joke while he holds me captive, making a gunky impression of my mouth. He's not a jokester. He is a serious man, always has been, but he makes me laugh till I cry.

I guess we're both losers, in a way. The amazing thing is that neither of us is lost.

Posted by Katy on 07/08/03 at 12:38 AM

Fallible Comments...

"and the loser now will be later to win, for the times, they are a changing..."
-----
Posted by lisa on 07/13/03 at 12:59 AM
Lisa, Whoa, you took me back to Soeur Annette Marie's French class where a bunch of girls would gather after hours and Diane Cornish would play guitar and we'd all sing Dylan songs. A bit of a prophet, isn't he? Thanks!
Posted by katy on 07/20/03 at 01:14 PM
Hell, we're all losers. Life isn't about winning really is it? We play just for the sake of playing. Let's just have as much fun as we can in the midst of all this chaos. That's mostly my philosophy.
Posted by Jim on 08/26/03 at 12:36 AM
Jim, I can be too serious. You've cheered me. Thanks!
Posted by katy on 09/06/03 at 07:20 PM

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Personal blog of christian writer & fallible mom Katy McKenna Raymond in Kansas City, Missouri Katy is represented by Greg Johnson at WordServe Literary Read more Katy at LateBoomer.net Follow Katy on Twitter Follow Katy on Facebook 123 Recent Posts Try Becoming Brenda Starr Off Beat Scattered That’s It So I’ve Finally Signed With An Agent. Now What? The Spoon Sciatica Sweetheart A Woman’s Train of Thought Has No Caboose However much we own, we are all still living on borrowed time After all, when restaurants shrink portions, they don’t shrink prices. As with everything in life, balance is key. Slow down, you move too fast… Yeah, I know. I have issues. Search Advanced Search Syndicate Login E me at katy @ ngenius.com	Losers "So what's going on in your head?" asks Dr. T, a personal acquaintance of mine these past thirty years. In recent times, I only see him when I require his medical attention, perhaps once a year. He and his wife lost their son three autumns ago in a car accident. He was eighteen, and beautiful. I am a little self-conscious when inquiring after his family, and he is mildly leery asking about my health. "Who knows?" I say, only it doesn't quite come out like that since by now he's jabbing around in my mouth with flashlights and pokers. "I've got a couple of weird cysts or something on my gum, one sore tooth, elevated cerebro-spinal fluid, a probable case of TMJ complete with acute facial pain, and....what did you say? I'm deaf in that ear--" We laugh. We are both at ease now. He knows I'm going to ask, and he's ready. "Apart from that," I say, "I'm fine. But what I want to know is, how are you?" "Apart from that, I'm fine." It is all I ask, and all he needs to say. Spoken or unspoken, that will always be there. Making us just fine, apart from it, but never completely able to be apart. We are well-versed in the language of loss, and have compressed the syllables until they are few and succinct. He smiles a little under his mask, I can tell. His eyes even twinkle the tiniest bit, astonishing me. Later he tells me a joke while he holds me captive, making a gunky impression of my mouth. He's not a jokester. He is a serious man, always has been, but he makes me laugh till I cry. I guess we're both losers, in a way. The amazing thing is that neither of us is lost. Posted by Katy on 07/08/03 at 12:38 AM Fallible Comments... "and the loser now will be later to win, for the times, they are a changing..." ----- Posted by lisa on 07/13/03 at 12:59 AM Lisa, Whoa, you took me back to Soeur Annette Marie's French class where a bunch of girls would gather after hours and Diane Cornish would play guitar and we'd all sing Dylan songs. A bit of a prophet, isn't he? Thanks! Posted by katy on 07/20/03 at 01:14 PM Hell, we're all losers. Life isn't about winning really is it? We play just for the sake of playing. Let's just have as much fun as we can in the midst of all this chaos. That's mostly my philosophy. Posted by Jim on 08/26/03 at 12:36 AM Jim, I can be too serious. You've cheered me. Thanks! Posted by katy on 09/06/03 at 07:20 PM Page 1 of 1 pages Commenting is not available in this weblog entry. Next entry: Why We Do What We Do Previous entry: Imagine << Back to main


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Personal blog of christianwriter & fallible momKaty McKenna Raymondin Kansas City, Missouri

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Losers

Personal blog of christian
writer & fallible mom
Katy McKenna Raymond
in Kansas City, Missouri