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Personal blog of christian
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It’s Gonna Be Worth ItWe purchased a Dodge Caravan in 1988. Dang, I loved that thing. The kids were little then, and we practically lived in the car. In fact, we hadn’t owned it a week before we took a bloomin’ road trip to Williamsburg, Virginia. Twenty-six hours each way. What were we thinking? Doug and I made up a little poem to inspire the children to take good care of the car when it was new. “If your feet are on the seat, your buns will feel the heat.” You can probably guess that if we didn’t allow feet on the upholstery, neither did we allow food or drink in the van. You’re right. Years passed before as much as a bottle of water found its way into that vehicle. These days, I haul Mom around in my four-year-old Saturn wagon. All our cars are paid for and highly valued because of it. None will be replaced anytime soon, as our dollars have been otherwise allocated. :) So WHY do I allow my mother to eat extra-long Coney hotdogs with mustard, onions, mustard, pickles, mustard, cheese, chili and mustard in my CAR? I wish I knew. I took her to the doctor today, who said he’d sure seen her look worse. He even said she could wait six whole months before returning for the next routine visit. That must me some kind of a Mama Record. Before Nurse Mary could pop the tourniquet off her arm, Mom said, “Where are we going for lunch?” “Mom, it’s 10:30. You just ate breakfast…” “Are you kidding me? That was two hours ago! I want Sonic!” I knew what was coming, believe me. It’s just that I hoped she’d keep the whole mess bagged up until I got her back to her apartment, safely ensconced on her couch with it all laid out on the coffee table before her. But NO! Before I could fork over the carhop’s tip, Mom had ripped into the bag and exposed the flimsy pasteboard cradle containing the object of her desire. Honestly, I couldn’t even tell if a hotdog lay buried beneath all those accoutrements or not. Mom assured me one did. “This is fantastic,” she said, before she’d snarfed down the first bite. “But there’s no fork, and you can’t possibly pick it up,” I whined. “And I’ve never seen so much mustard in my LIFE.” “I know,” she purred. “It’s luscious.” Now, watching Mom eat is a study in itself, even if the item being consumed is relatively neat. Because of her permanently broken humerus, she really only has the reliable use of her right hand, so the left serves no purpose beyond the voracious ripping of wrappings. My hope that Mom could wait until I got her out of my car? A vain hope, indeed. My lifelong dream of driving a mustard-colored Saturn has come true, though. If you could have witnessed what occurred over the next ten minutes as she inhaled her Coney, you would have died laughing. I could barely restrain her from diving in before I got a glove compartment-load of napkins spread out over her ample frontside, from neck to knees. But did it matter? Not one whit. She exclaimed in ecstasy while I removed clumps of relish from her pink and blue flowered t-shirt. Great globs of mustard found their way into the tiny crevices on her belly’s napkin overlay and spread like a growing jaundice on her pants. Chili dripped through her fingers, encrusting her silver claddagh ring like rust. The impotent napkins quickly lost their meaning, and I found myself using my bare hand to catch the droppings as she raised the behemoth again and again to her mouth. At one point, I cautioned her that she was ingesting grease-soaked, stuck-on pieces of napkin, but she insisted they tasted like onion to her. “I love this place. That was the best thing I’ve ever eaten.” “Mom, I’ve raised three kids to adulthood, and I’ve never had to clean up a bigger mess than you just made.” “It was worth it, though, wasn’t it?” Maybe not quite yet. I mean, gee Mom, the mustard hasn’t even dried. But I know this with my whole heart: Someday, it’s gonna be worth it all.
Posted by Katy on 05/21/07 at 07:00 PM
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