Holy Weak

When my mother was in the hospital, she almost died from like a dozen different things, all feeding off each other. It was a systems-wide failure, and quite hard to keep up with. Just when we imagined that it would be respiratory failure that got her, her blood sugar shot up to 500 and stayed there. Then, when we figured the old heart rate of 165 didn’t bode well for her future on earth, her blood pressure would plummet to nearly nothing.

And if she wanted to speak a few words, we’d have to move the oxygen mask from her face, which would make her 02 stats tumble toward the dark side within seconds. It wasn’t pretty.

Now she’s in a nursing home, to receive some much-needed (but, I’m afraid, not terribly beneficial) therapy. I hoped she’d gain better transferring skills (since she has fallen twice already this year trying to get on or off her couch) and some more hygienic bathroom skills (since she now gets back-to-back urinary tract infections and has a hard time negotiating Depends with her broken arm).

They say that by this time next week, she’ll probably have gone as far with therapy as she’s going to go. This is code for “Medicare will only pay for the days on which she is making progress in therapy. If we cannot document that she is progressing, she’s on her own dime….” So, she will either be moving back to her assisted living facility or becoming a permanent resident of a nursing home.

Last night, just to complicate matters, she had her fifth or sixth episode of extremely low blood sugar. Right before dinner time, when the nurse came in to check her blood sugars, she was found in a pond of her own sweat, having drenched her clothing and all the bedding right down to the plastic mattress. Her blood sugar reading was 25!!!!

Literature reveals that a coma can occur at 30, seizures at 20, and irreversible brain damage at 10, but all these numbers are variable depending on the patient, her other medical conditions, and many other factors. In this case, she was able to swallow a serving of Ensure and recovered.

I spent much of the day on the phone with doctors and in the office of the social worker. I explained to the nursing home doctor that her current insulin regimen was initiated by the endocrinologist at the hospital, largely in reaction to the readings of 500. But that Mom’s family doctor had her sugars on a consistently-too-high-but-very-stable track for the past two years. I told the facility doc that I want her regimen returned to what it was before her hospitalization, because her bones are so horrible and she is such a huge fall risk.

And of course because one more episode like last night’s might be the last. I know everyone has to die of something, but THAT seems like a dumb thing if it can be prevented.

One day, I’ll write a lovely, heart-wrenching essay about this whole experience, but today is not that day. Sometimes, I’m just tired.

Please pray for my mom, that her heart will find peace with Jesus. That she’ll surrender her life to the kindness of His love.

I am grateful, in all of this, that God never tires of hearing our voices, of answering our cries. That His faithfulness is constant and His mercy ever new.

I’m depending on Him.

Posted by Katy on 03/19/08 at 08:14 PM

Fallible Comments...

Praying for your mom. And you
Posted by Suzan on 03/19/08 at 08:59 PM
Keeping you and your mom in my prayers. Rest in Him.
Posted by christa Allan on 03/19/08 at 09:58 PM
I will be praying for you and your mother. May God keep her safe on earth until she can rest in His arms.
Posted by Angela on 03/20/08 at 01:19 AM
also praying
Posted by Anne on 03/20/08 at 01:27 AM
(((Hugs))) Katy - I will be praying. Hang in there.
Posted by Carrie K. on 03/20/08 at 02:05 PM
It's never easy to watch the ones who have nurtured us to wither, and it's painful to let go of them. I'm sure she feels the same about letting go of the people she loves, too. Sometimes all a person needs is to know it's okay to let go. You and your mother are in my prayers.
Posted by Kathryn on 03/20/08 at 08:17 PM
katy - my mom is a social worker with hospice in NY and has told me so many stories - i have shared this entry with her. our prayers are with you and your mother. i pray the peace of God that goes beyond all understand on your family this night.
Posted by joshua on 03/21/08 at 01:41 AM

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Personal blog of christian writer & fallible mom Katy McKenna Raymond in Kansas City, Missouri Katy is represented by Greg Johnson at WordServe Literary Read more Katy at LateBoomer.net Follow Katy on Twitter Follow Katy on Facebook 123 Recent Posts Try Becoming Brenda Starr Off Beat Scattered That’s It So I’ve Finally Signed With An Agent. Now What? The Spoon Sciatica Sweetheart A Woman’s Train of Thought Has No Caboose However much we own, we are all still living on borrowed time After all, when restaurants shrink portions, they don’t shrink prices. As with everything in life, balance is key. Slow down, you move too fast… Yeah, I know. I have issues. Search Advanced Search Syndicate Login E me at katy @ ngenius.com	Holy Weak When my mother was in the hospital, she almost died from like a dozen different things, all feeding off each other. It was a systems-wide failure, and quite hard to keep up with. Just when we imagined that it would be respiratory failure that got her, her blood sugar shot up to 500 and stayed there. Then, when we figured the old heart rate of 165 didn’t bode well for her future on earth, her blood pressure would plummet to nearly nothing. And if she wanted to speak a few words, we’d have to move the oxygen mask from her face, which would make her 02 stats tumble toward the dark side within seconds. It wasn’t pretty. Now she’s in a nursing home, to receive some much-needed (but, I’m afraid, not terribly beneficial) therapy. I hoped she’d gain better transferring skills (since she has fallen twice already this year trying to get on or off her couch) and some more hygienic bathroom skills (since she now gets back-to-back urinary tract infections and has a hard time negotiating Depends with her broken arm). They say that by this time next week, she’ll probably have gone as far with therapy as she’s going to go. This is code for “Medicare will only pay for the days on which she is making progress in therapy. If we cannot document that she is progressing, she’s on her own dime….” So, she will either be moving back to her assisted living facility or becoming a permanent resident of a nursing home. Last night, just to complicate matters, she had her fifth or sixth episode of extremely low blood sugar. Right before dinner time, when the nurse came in to check her blood sugars, she was found in a pond of her own sweat, having drenched her clothing and all the bedding right down to the plastic mattress. Her blood sugar reading was 25!!!! Literature reveals that a coma can occur at 30, seizures at 20, and irreversible brain damage at 10, but all these numbers are variable depending on the patient, her other medical conditions, and many other factors. In this case, she was able to swallow a serving of Ensure and recovered. I spent much of the day on the phone with doctors and in the office of the social worker. I explained to the nursing home doctor that her current insulin regimen was initiated by the endocrinologist at the hospital, largely in reaction to the readings of 500. But that Mom’s family doctor had her sugars on a consistently-too-high-but-very-stable track for the past two years. I told the facility doc that I want her regimen returned to what it was before her hospitalization, because her bones are so horrible and she is such a huge fall risk. And of course because one more episode like last night’s might be the last. I know everyone has to die of something, but THAT seems like a dumb thing if it can be prevented. One day, I’ll write a lovely, heart-wrenching essay about this whole experience, but today is not that day. Sometimes, I’m just tired. Please pray for my mom, that her heart will find peace with Jesus. That she’ll surrender her life to the kindness of His love. I am grateful, in all of this, that God never tires of hearing our voices, of answering our cries. That His faithfulness is constant and His mercy ever new. I’m depending on Him. Posted by Katy on 03/19/08 at 08:14 PM Fallible Comments... Praying for your mom. And you Posted by Suzan on 03/19/08 at 08:59 PM Keeping you and your mom in my prayers. Rest in Him. Posted by christa Allan on 03/19/08 at 09:58 PM I will be praying for you and your mother. May God keep her safe on earth until she can rest in His arms. Posted by Angela on 03/20/08 at 01:19 AM also praying Posted by Anne on 03/20/08 at 01:27 AM (((Hugs))) Katy - I will be praying. Hang in there. Posted by Carrie K. on 03/20/08 at 02:05 PM It's never easy to watch the ones who have nurtured us to wither, and it's painful to let go of them. I'm sure she feels the same about letting go of the people she loves, too. Sometimes all a person needs is to know it's okay to let go. You and your mother are in my prayers. Posted by Kathryn on 03/20/08 at 08:17 PM katy - my mom is a social worker with hospice in NY and has told me so many stories - i have shared this entry with her. our prayers are with you and your mother. i pray the peace of God that goes beyond all understand on your family this night. Posted by joshua on 03/21/08 at 01:41 AM Page 1 of 1 pages Commenting is not available in this weblog entry. Next entry: Back When I Was Your Age--A Rant Previous entry: A Not-To-Be-Missed Opportunity! << Back to main


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Personal blog of christianwriter & fallible momKaty McKenna Raymondin Kansas City, Missouri

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Holy Weak

Personal blog of christian
writer & fallible mom
Katy McKenna Raymond
in Kansas City, Missouri