Having None Of It

I can’t say that Doug and I have ever really been the types to think we should “have it all.” Honestly, a lot of it doesn’t even appeal to us.

We’re not into cars, so while we’ve owned quite a number of new ones, we’ve never purchased one that cost more than $20,000. Most have cost much less than that. We’ve yet to make an appointment for a couple’s massage at the neighborhood day spa, and my face still hasn’t met Botox, though the two of them might get along great. I don’t even care much for acryllic appendages extending from my fingertips, and I can’t imagine letting a stranger caress my feet during a pedicure.

I suppose, though, that after the first time, the pedicurist wouldn’t be a stranger anymore.

Ken Lay of Enron fame, who died something like $100 million dollars in debt, had noted recently that yes, he’d gone ahead and had the $200,000 birthday party for his wife on a rented yacht. He said that enormous debt notwithstanding, it was awfully difficult to switch spending gears completely and give up all the little luxuries, when you were used to such things.

Doug and I talked about this yesterday, and came to the conclusion that this same difficulty could arise at any income level, since lots of folks at every level live beyond their means and may be confronted with the need to make astonishing personal reformations.

I’ll tell you what: This past month has changed our lives. The first couple of weeks on this spending diet, we found ourselves not only sorely tempted by our usual bugaboos, but also acutely aware of the myriad of ways the “system” is designed to suck the dollars from our pockets. On one trip into town to drop another load of stuff at the thrift store (a ten minute drive), I passed nearly 100 establishments where I could have easily (and without a second thought) spent money.

Even the post office, the only other place on my planned excursion, offerred an array of teddy bears, tote bags, collectible framed stamps, and stationery. Believe it or not, because I’d been avoiding shops for many days, the stuff at the post office looked really good to me! But I digress.

Now, after 30 days on our anti-spending-on-worthless-pursuits-and-junk plan, we are starting to get in the groove. We’ve committed to turning down our occasional “date night” at Sam’s. This would not be the type of trip in which we have a list and stick to it, you understand. This would be a spontaneous, we’ve got nothing to do, let’s take a drive over to Sam’s and visit with the stuff trip. Which would end up costing an average of $300 each time. Now, granted, we only did it a few times a year, but honestly. Isn’t that ridiculous?

And it’s not just Sam’s. What about Walmart? I buy groceries there, but I don’t head to the food aisles till I’ve checked out the other departments: clothing (always the clearance racks, because I am very thrifty), purses, sleepwear, DVDs, magazines, books, and crafts. And electronics. And shoes. Don’t forget shoes.

I’m not saying I always bought extras that I didn’t plan for or need. Okay. I am saying that.

The stores don’t miss me. By this late date, even Starbucks (where everybody knows your name) has forgotten. It’s been so long that even if the baristas did ask themselves if anyone had read our obits in the KC Star and if not, WHERE ARE THEY, some new schlups have bellied up to the counter. Replacing our dollars in the Bucks coffers, no doubt, and maybe even more. For that is the way of things: If two people manage to jump off the wheel-to-no-where, two or three more are thrilled to take their place.

We have taken the leap. We’ve become anti-comsumers. It’s been a huge challenge so far, and oh, so much fun. It’s left us with voids of time and space and emotions that we don’t know how to fill, and that is a bit frightening at first. But we’ve promised ourselves not to rush to fill them. To hurry only guarantees that these spaces in our lives will be filled by something equally as worthless as what we’ve eliminated.

And this time, that just won’t do.

Posted by Katy on 07/06/06 at 06:13 AM

Fallible Comments...

As Dave Ramsey says, making out a budget is almost like getting a raise. I can only hope that I've passed on the basic ideas of money management to my daughter. She seems quite swayed by Walmart amd iTunes marketing techniques.

I'm reminded of an old Seinfeld episode when Kramer says "I like denying myself things--its FUN!"
Posted by AC on 07/06/06 at 07:16 AM
Well, hurrah for you! We need to follow in your healthy footsteps, my friend. We let money slip too easily from our fingers, and we don't even have that much!:-) I've spent weeks trying to pull my brain out of a clinical funk, so I've not had the energy to deal with too many changes at once, but it becomes increasingly apparent to me that we could all benefit greatly just to "simplify" our lives and eliminate needless spending. Thank you for pointing the way. It's encouraging!
Posted by Vicki on 07/06/06 at 10:22 AM
We're a new couple starting out (I don't even LIVE with him until two more months) but every dime we've spent on say a toaster oven, or a blender (because smoothies are so much healthier than coke) or on clothes hangers...whatever the case may be, I've chalked up to having to get. And we did, though I guess we could have lived without the smoothie maker for two more months and put it on our registry, or lived without that really cool and fun to watch Xmen DVD.

The thing is, it's so easy to go "oh this is cheap" you don't seem to realize that it adds up in the cart. At least, I don't until I'm calculating everything in my head.

So, I think I'm going to follow in your footsteps. Thanks. =)
Posted by Lynn on 07/06/06 at 11:24 AM
AC--I try to tell myself that I am not swayed by marketing and advertising, but it's a lie. Now, a yard sale sign doesn't attract my attention anymore. But today I saw one in a swanky neighborhood that said, "Furniture for sale. Model home!" I got some of my fave furniture in just this manor, for a fraction of the wholesale cost. It was so TEMPTING, but neither I nor anyone in my family NEEDS ANY FURNITURE. So I kept driving.....All you can do is teach your daughter well, and trust her to learn her lessons!

Vicki--I'm not positive I've ever been in a "clinical funk," but I suspect I have. It's not fun, I know. When I have been depressed (whether clinical or not, I can't say for sure), I have been helped somewhat by taking any small step (like de-cluttering a single drawer) that I can take to restore some order. Not a prescription here, just an observation. Simplification does spill over into other areas, and it does seem to have a beneficial effect on my state-of-mind. I will take any peace I can get! :)

Lynn--We were reasonably impoverished for the first 20 years of our marriage, and I was pretty darned thrifty. But even then, I had a VERY hard time resisting a bona fide bargain. I recently heard a woman say "You can go broke buying bargains." That's one of my mottos now! Because all my purchasing was done with the best of intentions: to save us money down the line by purchasing a big-ticket item on sale now, to take advantage of stock-up sales, etc.

Sometimes, though, when you get "down the line," you realize you didn't need that item at all. And you can stock up to the point that you never use up what you've purchased and stuff gets wasted.

There's a balance, and I'm not it!!! But God is gracing us to try to find His place for us in the world of hyper-consumerism.

What if we had so much "leftover" that we could seriously commit to to some ministry (with time and money) beyond our tithes? That would be so cool...
Posted by Katy on 07/06/06 at 01:35 PM
Katy, thanks. Those things *do* help. I'm also taking medication, but constantly look for 'signs' of life within my own heart, and try to grasp moments of encouragement. Where before I couldn't get out of bed or shower, now I can piddle along, blog, clean a drawer, water the plants--and hope for increasing energy and motivation as my brain chemicals get more balanced. It's hard to focus or think when your mind is wrapped in a thick black fog, but God is showing me how to take one day at a time. Your posts inspire me and bring a smile to my face. THANKS!
Posted by Vicki on 07/06/06 at 01:49 PM
You expect me to buy that?

;)

Take Care
Michael
Posted by Michael #2 on 07/06/06 at 07:20 PM
Vicki--I do understand! I once did the several months in bed thing, attributing it in my own mind to a severe depression. It ended up to be a thyroid gone terribly south! But I know the feeling of the thick fog all too well. Be kind to yourself! Let yourself enjoy little moments along the way....

Michael--THIS is why I love you! :)
Posted by Katy on 07/10/06 at 09:04 AM
USA Detailed Consumers Database, 61+ Million Records of Detailed Consumer Data, http://www.thedatasupplier.com/
Posted by Frank Smith on 01/18/09 at 06:31 AM

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Personal blog of christian writer & fallible mom Katy McKenna Raymond in Kansas City, Missouri Katy is represented by Greg Johnson at WordServe Literary Read more Katy at LateBoomer.net Follow Katy on Twitter Follow Katy on Facebook 123 Recent Posts Try Becoming Brenda Starr Off Beat Scattered That’s It So I’ve Finally Signed With An Agent. Now What? The Spoon Sciatica Sweetheart A Woman’s Train of Thought Has No Caboose However much we own, we are all still living on borrowed time After all, when restaurants shrink portions, they don’t shrink prices. As with everything in life, balance is key. Slow down, you move too fast… Yeah, I know. I have issues. Search Advanced Search Syndicate Login E me at katy @ ngenius.com	Having None Of It I can’t say that Doug and I have ever really been the types to think we should “have it all.” Honestly, a lot of it doesn’t even appeal to us. We’re not into cars, so while we’ve owned quite a number of new ones, we’ve never purchased one that cost more than $20,000. Most have cost much less than that. We’ve yet to make an appointment for a couple’s massage at the neighborhood day spa, and my face still hasn’t met Botox, though the two of them might get along great. I don’t even care much for acryllic appendages extending from my fingertips, and I can’t imagine letting a stranger caress my feet during a pedicure. I suppose, though, that after the first time, the pedicurist wouldn’t be a stranger anymore. Ken Lay of Enron fame, who died something like $100 million dollars in debt, had noted recently that yes, he’d gone ahead and had the $200,000 birthday party for his wife on a rented yacht. He said that enormous debt notwithstanding, it was awfully difficult to switch spending gears completely and give up all the little luxuries, when you were used to such things. Doug and I talked about this yesterday, and came to the conclusion that this same difficulty could arise at any income level, since lots of folks at every level live beyond their means and may be confronted with the need to make astonishing personal reformations. I’ll tell you what: This past month has changed our lives. The first couple of weeks on this spending diet, we found ourselves not only sorely tempted by our usual bugaboos, but also acutely aware of the myriad of ways the “system” is designed to suck the dollars from our pockets. On one trip into town to drop another load of stuff at the thrift store (a ten minute drive), I passed nearly 100 establishments where I could have easily (and without a second thought) spent money. Even the post office, the only other place on my planned excursion, offerred an array of teddy bears, tote bags, collectible framed stamps, and stationery. Believe it or not, because I’d been avoiding shops for many days, the stuff at the post office looked really good to me! But I digress. Now, after 30 days on our anti-spending-on-worthless-pursuits-and-junk plan, we are starting to get in the groove. We’ve committed to turning down our occasional “date night” at Sam’s. This would not be the type of trip in which we have a list and stick to it, you understand. This would be a spontaneous, we’ve got nothing to do, let’s take a drive over to Sam’s and visit with the stuff trip. Which would end up costing an average of $300 each time. Now, granted, we only did it a few times a year, but honestly. Isn’t that ridiculous? And it’s not just Sam’s. What about Walmart? I buy groceries there, but I don’t head to the food aisles till I’ve checked out the other departments: clothing (always the clearance racks, because I am very thrifty), purses, sleepwear, DVDs, magazines, books, and crafts. And electronics. And shoes. Don’t forget shoes. I’m not saying I always bought extras that I didn’t plan for or need. Okay. I am saying that. The stores don’t miss me. By this late date, even Starbucks (where everybody knows your name) has forgotten. It’s been so long that even if the baristas did ask themselves if anyone had read our obits in the KC Star and if not, WHERE ARE THEY, some new schlups have bellied up to the counter. Replacing our dollars in the Bucks coffers, no doubt, and maybe even more. For that is the way of things: If two people manage to jump off the wheel-to-no-where, two or three more are thrilled to take their place. We have taken the leap. We’ve become anti-comsumers. It’s been a huge challenge so far, and oh, so much fun. It’s left us with voids of time and space and emotions that we don’t know how to fill, and that is a bit frightening at first. But we’ve promised ourselves not to rush to fill them. To hurry only guarantees that these spaces in our lives will be filled by something equally as worthless as what we’ve eliminated. And this time, that just won’t do. Posted by Katy on 07/06/06 at 06:13 AM Fallible Comments... As Dave Ramsey says, making out a budget is almost like getting a raise. I can only hope that I've passed on the basic ideas of money management to my daughter. She seems quite swayed by Walmart amd iTunes marketing techniques. I'm reminded of an old Seinfeld episode when Kramer says "I like denying myself things--its FUN!" Posted by AC on 07/06/06 at 07:16 AM Well, hurrah for you! We need to follow in your healthy footsteps, my friend. We let money slip too easily from our fingers, and we don't even have that much!:-) I've spent weeks trying to pull my brain out of a clinical funk, so I've not had the energy to deal with too many changes at once, but it becomes increasingly apparent to me that we could all benefit greatly just to "simplify" our lives and eliminate needless spending. Thank you for pointing the way. It's encouraging! Posted by Vicki on 07/06/06 at 10:22 AM We're a new couple starting out (I don't even LIVE with him until two more months) but every dime we've spent on say a toaster oven, or a blender (because smoothies are so much healthier than coke) or on clothes hangers...whatever the case may be, I've chalked up to having to get. And we did, though I guess we could have lived without the smoothie maker for two more months and put it on our registry, or lived without that really cool and fun to watch Xmen DVD. The thing is, it's so easy to go "oh this is cheap" you don't seem to realize that it adds up in the cart. At least, I don't until I'm calculating everything in my head. So, I think I'm going to follow in your footsteps. Thanks. =) Posted by Lynn on 07/06/06 at 11:24 AM AC--I try to tell myself that I am not swayed by marketing and advertising, but it's a lie. Now, a yard sale sign doesn't attract my attention anymore. But today I saw one in a swanky neighborhood that said, "Furniture for sale. Model home!" I got some of my fave furniture in just this manor, for a fraction of the wholesale cost. It was so TEMPTING, but neither I nor anyone in my family NEEDS ANY FURNITURE. So I kept driving.....All you can do is teach your daughter well, and trust her to learn her lessons! Vicki--I'm not positive I've ever been in a "clinical funk," but I suspect I have. It's not fun, I know. When I have been depressed (whether clinical or not, I can't say for sure), I have been helped somewhat by taking any small step (like de-cluttering a single drawer) that I can take to restore some order. Not a prescription here, just an observation. Simplification does spill over into other areas, and it does seem to have a beneficial effect on my state-of-mind. I will take any peace I can get! :) Lynn--We were reasonably impoverished for the first 20 years of our marriage, and I was pretty darned thrifty. But even then, I had a VERY hard time resisting a bona fide bargain. I recently heard a woman say "You can go broke buying bargains." That's one of my mottos now! Because all my purchasing was done with the best of intentions: to save us money down the line by purchasing a big-ticket item on sale now, to take advantage of stock-up sales, etc. Sometimes, though, when you get "down the line," you realize you didn't need that item at all. And you can stock up to the point that you never use up what you've purchased and stuff gets wasted. There's a balance, and I'm not it!!! But God is gracing us to try to find His place for us in the world of hyper-consumerism. What if we had so much "leftover" that we could seriously commit to to some ministry (with time and money) beyond our tithes? That would be so cool... Posted by Katy on 07/06/06 at 01:35 PM Katy, thanks. Those things do help. I'm also taking medication, but constantly look for 'signs' of life within my own heart, and try to grasp moments of encouragement. Where before I couldn't get out of bed or shower, now I can piddle along, blog, clean a drawer, water the plants--and hope for increasing energy and motivation as my brain chemicals get more balanced. It's hard to focus or think when your mind is wrapped in a thick black fog, but God is showing me how to take one day at a time. Your posts inspire me and bring a smile to my face. THANKS! Posted by Vicki on 07/06/06 at 01:49 PM You expect me to buy that? ;) Take Care Michael Posted by Michael #2 on 07/06/06 at 07:20 PM Vicki--I do understand! I once did the several months in bed thing, attributing it in my own mind to a severe depression. It ended up to be a thyroid gone terribly south! But I know the feeling of the thick fog all too well. Be kind to yourself! Let yourself enjoy little moments along the way.... Michael--THIS is why I love you! :) Posted by Katy on 07/10/06 at 09:04 AM USA Detailed Consumers Database, 61+ Million Records of Detailed Consumer Data, http://www.thedatasupplier.com/ Posted by Frank Smith on 01/18/09 at 06:31 AM Page 1 of 1 pages Commenting is not available in this weblog entry. Next entry: It Only Took Once Previous entry: Liposuction? << Back to main


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Personal blog of christianwriter & fallible momKaty McKenna Raymondin Kansas City, Missouri

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Having None Of It

Personal blog of christian
writer & fallible mom
Katy McKenna Raymond
in Kansas City, Missouri