Katy McKenna Raymond  
Personal blog of christian writer Katy McKenna Raymond in Kansas City, Missouri

Personal blog of christian
writer & fallible mom
Katy McKenna Raymond
in Kansas City, Missouri


Katy is represented by
Greg Johnson at
WordServe Literary

Read more Katy at
LateBoomer.net

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Getting To Know You, Getting To Know All About You

Live long enough, and you’ll hear people identify themselves by just about every criteria imaginable.

“What sign are you?”

“I’m Capricorn. You?”

“I’m Aquarious.”

As much as I refuse to pigeon hole myself into a sign, I detest calling myself by the name of a medical condition even more.

“Are you Hyperinsulinemia?”

“Yeah. I’m Anacephalic Shock, too.”

“Oooh…bummer.”

I miss the old days, when people identified themselves as doctors or teachers or plumbers or housewives. Or by their level of education. Or how about by their ethnicity or their religion?

Give me a good old-fashioned Irish Catholic bartender any day, people. Those are the kind of salt-of-the-earth folks who don’t need to be defined by a disease process.

Today took the cake. Doug and I decided to peruse a couple houses on the bi-annual new homes tour here in KC. We only look at high-end houses, purely for the fun of it, not because we are in the market. We always go home thoroughly satisfied with what we’ve got.

Here in Kansas City, $1.5 million will still buy quite a lot of house, and that’s the price of the one we were in when I overheard two touring homeowners of the opposite sex introducing themselves to each other. (By the time we left, I think they’d gotten engaged.)

“Are you Tile?” one asked.

“I’m Slate,” the other said.

The man moved a little closer. “Ah, interesting. Are you, by any chance, Corian?”

“No. I’m Granite.” She reached out and touched his arm. “But I really love Corian…”

He smiled, his perfect teeth like drywall. Or plaster. Or porcelain. Whatever. “I just have to know: Are you Cherry?”

“Almost,” she whispered, her lips very near his. “I’m Red Oak.”

Identifying ourselves by construction materials? Slotting ourselves into individual value zones based on the substances with which we’re able to finish (God bless interest-only sub-prime loans) our McMansions? If things can get worse than this, I’d like to know how.

Maybe I’m just jealous. I, after all, am Painted Pine, Asphalt Shingle, and Linoleum.

How about you?

Posted by Katy on 04/29/07 at 12:14 PM
Fallible Comments...
  1. High-larious. You have the makings of a romantic novel.
    Posted by alison  on  04/29/07  at  02:20 PM
  2. haha! people always ask me what my sign is but i can never remember. i think ill start saying; "i'm an alpha one"
    Posted by kevin  on  04/30/07  at  01:49 AM
  3. If I hadn't been watching HGTV, and "Flip this House" I wouldn't even have know what you were talking about. Fallible for sure. This is one to add to my "ways of identifying yourself."
    Posted by Angela Coon  on  04/30/07  at  08:46 PM
  4. alison--Hey! There's an idea..... :)

    Kevvie--Oooh. That sounds like of like "Alpha Male," which might be impressive to a certain type of woman.....

    Angela--Isn't it pathetic?? Funny, but pathetic. Thanks for commenting here!
    Posted by Katy  on  05/01/07  at  02:28 PM
  5. unfortunately in my case, "scuffed linoleum coupled with aged plush carpet" isn't nearly as sexy as "borderline compulsive with a hint of unrequited whimsy."
    Posted by jenn_a  on  05/03/07  at  12:50 PM
  6. Haha! Only you could write such an entertaining account, sister!
    Posted by Lisa Jordan  on  05/08/07  at  06:36 AM
  7. what am I? I'm homeless so I can't really claim to be granite or shag carpeting for that matter! LOL

    Ok, technically I'm basement dweller in friends house. :o)
    Posted by Heather Diane Tipton  on  05/27/07  at  12:40 AM
    8. Page 1 of 1 pages
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