Dynamic

Just when you begin to worry that your own family dynamic might not be sufficiently functional to withstand the challenges of another parent requiring huge amounts of vigilent care, you hear a story like this.

This is a true tale, my friends, told to me this afternoon by my darling daughter, whose job is to sit with hospital patients who can't be left alone. In the case of this particular patient, it's possible that she could have been left completely alone, but, alas, couldn't be left alone with her very own son.

The poor woman, around 75 years old, has had surgery to remove a ton of cancer from her abdomen. Too bad a progeny-removal wasn't performed at the same time. But I digress.

The 45-year-old son (we'll call him Earl) stared at Carrie wordlessly for quite a while. She tried to block his creepy gaze with her laptop, since he made her terribly uncomfortable. Little did she know how much her discomfort would grow when he opened his mouth.

"Correct me if i'm wrong, but do you got blue eyes?"

Carrie's eyes are changeable, sometimes blue, sometimes green, sometimes nearly grey. "I don't know. Maybe."

"Ain't genetics crazy? My daughter's got them blue eyes. But who'da thunk she'd end up with 'em? I don't got blue eyes and her mamma don't got blue eyes. But now my mamma layin' in the bed over there, she's got them blue eyes. And that's genetics."

"Um...yeah."

"And another thing. My daughter's got her some blond hair, and her mamma's sure not got blond hair. Looky here at me. I've got black hair which is only because I used to have brown hair which was goin' grey so I dyed it. Somehow though we must have got the gene for blond hair because my daughter's sure got the blond hair even though we don't got it. That's how that genetics thing works."

"I guess."

"So are you from these parts?"

"No, Kansas City."

"Kansas City, Missouri, or Kansas City, Kansas?"

"I'm from the Missouri side..."

"It's kind of confusing over there, with the Mississippi River and all."

Carrie didn't bother to clarify that the Muddy Missouri is the river in our parts, not the Mississippi.

"I was driving over to Kansas City with a buddy to pick up a dozer, and he don't know about the Mississippi River dividin' Missouri from Kansas."

"Oh?"

"But I told him, Jess, we gonna have to cross that river to get to the dozer."

"Oh."

Right about then, Earl's mother groaned a bit too much for his comfort. He turned away from Carrie to confront her.

"You'd better stop your moaning, you old b---h. When I wrecked my vehicle, you didn't hear me complaining."

"I'm sorry, Earl. I love you, son..."

"Mamma, you're a pain in my a-s. I'm about to take that there box and shove it up against your head. I would, too, if it weren't for the Boone County sheriff would haul me in for destruction of public property."

Never mind his mother. He was worried about the box.

"I'm about to head over to Kirksville. Dad's been tryin' to get the old place fixed up, but he lets people walk all over him. At the rate he's goin', it'll never get done. I'm gonna rent me a dozer and doze the house down."

"Well, that's an idea," Carrie said.

Finally, the old lady got smart and fell asleep. A welcome silence descended upon the room, but Carrie somehow knew at least one more tidbit hung in the air.

Minutes passed, and then out of no where, Earl said, "I saved all my letters from jail. I got me at least 45 from Gayle, that back-stabbing b---h. I got probly 25 from Mamma."

"That's nice..."

"I wrote to Grandma but I only heard from her about one time."

Dear God, I love my family.

Posted by Katy on 07/04/05 at 03:47 PM

Fallible Comments...

Carrie--I hope I did your story justice. You told it SO WELL!
-----
Posted by Katy on 07/05/05 at 12:39 AM
Wow. Jim tells stories like this all the time, but he never writes them down. Maybe I should "borrow" them for my blog, just as you did with Carrie's. We may we a little crazy sometimes, but not like that. Love to you, Katy!
Posted by Bridget on 07/05/05 at 01:50 AM
I got the chills as I read that. Freaky man!
Posted by violet on 07/05/05 at 03:32 AM
Wow... Crazy... But, SO funny! :)
Posted by timsamoff on 07/05/05 at 06:31 PM
I'm so glad to be blessed with a 'normal' family. Talk about an uncomfortable time!
Posted by Kevin on 07/05/05 at 08:27 PM
sounds like something from a Coen brothers movie.
Posted by Paula on 07/12/05 at 08:13 PM

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Personal blog of christian writer & fallible mom Katy McKenna Raymond in Kansas City, Missouri Katy is represented by Greg Johnson at WordServe Literary Read more Katy at LateBoomer.net Follow Katy on Twitter Follow Katy on Facebook 123 Recent Posts Try Becoming Brenda Starr Off Beat Scattered That’s It So I’ve Finally Signed With An Agent. Now What? The Spoon Sciatica Sweetheart A Woman’s Train of Thought Has No Caboose However much we own, we are all still living on borrowed time After all, when restaurants shrink portions, they don’t shrink prices. As with everything in life, balance is key. Slow down, you move too fast… Yeah, I know. I have issues. Search Advanced Search Syndicate Login E me at katy @ ngenius.com	Dynamic Just when you begin to worry that your own family dynamic might not be sufficiently functional to withstand the challenges of another parent requiring huge amounts of vigilent care, you hear a story like this. This is a true tale, my friends, told to me this afternoon by my darling daughter, whose job is to sit with hospital patients who can't be left alone. In the case of this particular patient, it's possible that she could have been left completely alone, but, alas, couldn't be left alone with her very own son. The poor woman, around 75 years old, has had surgery to remove a ton of cancer from her abdomen. Too bad a progeny-removal wasn't performed at the same time. But I digress. The 45-year-old son (we'll call him Earl) stared at Carrie wordlessly for quite a while. She tried to block his creepy gaze with her laptop, since he made her terribly uncomfortable. Little did she know how much her discomfort would grow when he opened his mouth. "Correct me if i'm wrong, but do you got blue eyes?" Carrie's eyes are changeable, sometimes blue, sometimes green, sometimes nearly grey. "I don't know. Maybe." "Ain't genetics crazy? My daughter's got them blue eyes. But who'da thunk she'd end up with 'em? I don't got blue eyes and her mamma don't got blue eyes. But now my mamma layin' in the bed over there, she's got them blue eyes. And that's genetics." "Um...yeah." "And another thing. My daughter's got her some blond hair, and her mamma's sure not got blond hair. Looky here at me. I've got black hair which is only because I used to have brown hair which was goin' grey so I dyed it. Somehow though we must have got the gene for blond hair because my daughter's sure got the blond hair even though we don't got it. That's how that genetics thing works." "I guess." "So are you from these parts?" "No, Kansas City." "Kansas City, Missouri, or Kansas City, Kansas?" "I'm from the Missouri side..." "It's kind of confusing over there, with the Mississippi River and all." Carrie didn't bother to clarify that the Muddy Missouri is the river in our parts, not the Mississippi. "I was driving over to Kansas City with a buddy to pick up a dozer, and he don't know about the Mississippi River dividin' Missouri from Kansas." "Oh?" "But I told him, Jess, we gonna have to cross that river to get to the dozer." "Oh." Right about then, Earl's mother groaned a bit too much for his comfort. He turned away from Carrie to confront her. "You'd better stop your moaning, you old b---h. When I wrecked my vehicle, you didn't hear me complaining." "I'm sorry, Earl. I love you, son..." "Mamma, you're a pain in my a-s. I'm about to take that there box and shove it up against your head. I would, too, if it weren't for the Boone County sheriff would haul me in for destruction of public property." Never mind his mother. He was worried about the box. "I'm about to head over to Kirksville. Dad's been tryin' to get the old place fixed up, but he lets people walk all over him. At the rate he's goin', it'll never get done. I'm gonna rent me a dozer and doze the house down." "Well, that's an idea," Carrie said. Finally, the old lady got smart and fell asleep. A welcome silence descended upon the room, but Carrie somehow knew at least one more tidbit hung in the air. Minutes passed, and then out of no where, Earl said, "I saved all my letters from jail. I got me at least 45 from Gayle, that back-stabbing b---h. I got probly 25 from Mamma." "That's nice..." "I wrote to Grandma but I only heard from her about one time." Dear God, I love my family. Posted by Katy on 07/04/05 at 03:47 PM Fallible Comments... Carrie--I hope I did your story justice. You told it SO WELL! ----- Posted by Katy on 07/05/05 at 12:39 AM Wow. Jim tells stories like this all the time, but he never writes them down. Maybe I should "borrow" them for my blog, just as you did with Carrie's. We may we a little crazy sometimes, but not like that. Love to you, Katy! Posted by Bridget on 07/05/05 at 01:50 AM I got the chills as I read that. Freaky man! Posted by violet on 07/05/05 at 03:32 AM Wow... Crazy... But, SO funny! :) Posted by timsamoff on 07/05/05 at 06:31 PM I'm so glad to be blessed with a 'normal' family. Talk about an uncomfortable time! Posted by Kevin on 07/05/05 at 08:27 PM sounds like something from a Coen brothers movie. Posted by Paula on 07/12/05 at 08:13 PM Page 1 of 1 pages Commenting is not available in this weblog entry. Next entry: The Notebook Previous entry: Mother-In-Law Mania << Back to main


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Personal blog of christianwriter & fallible momKaty McKenna Raymondin Kansas City, Missouri

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Personal blog of christian
writer & fallible mom
Katy McKenna Raymond
in Kansas City, Missouri