Bejeebers

“Did you hear that?” I’d been drifting off to sleep when the knocking happened. Who would be arriving at our house at nearly midnight?

Doug was wide awake reading next to me. “Katy, you’ve got your good ear pressed down on the pillow. And I didn’t hear a thing.”

Okay, he’s not always the most reliable witness on the block. He’s got some minor hearing loss himself, conveniently if I remember right in the frequency in which I speak. Also, if the cars are making weird noises, he insists it’s my imagination. Granted, I am largely unable to discern the direction a noise is originating from, but I can still tell if something’s about to blow. He can’t. But I digress.

I must have been in that weird almost-asleep dreamy state where it’s easy to get confused about what’s real and what’s not. I chalked up the knocking to something akin to the Big Jerk that often happens right before you make sleep official.

He turned off the light soon after he assured me no one was at the door, and fell promptly to sleep. I nearly did, too. But then I felt certain that the fan across the room must have been set to oscillate, because on a rather regular basis, the sound of it would diminish and then return. I got out of the bed to stop its movement and—you guessed it—the fan was stationary.

The really weird thing was that as I’d be nearly asleep again, and somehow in the haze of semi-consciousness aware that the fan’s noise was diminishing, I would hear a new sound effect to take the place of the earlier knocking.

Over the course of four hours or so—until 3 am—I heard drills, jackhammers, whooshes, taps, you name it, noises not based in reality and all with my supposedly hearing ear. And always with a corresponding sensation that, for those few seconds each episode lasted, I wasn’t hearing what I should have been hearing—the fan.

I’ve had these sensations before, at some point during my brain tumor odyssey—which ultimately resulted in the removal of the tumor and complete deafness in my other ear (the one I started thinking of this morning as my “good ear”!). But this time, I don’t have a hearing ear with which to bounce off the strange symptoms in the affected ear, if that makes sense. I’m aurally more challenged than I was seven years ago. It feels a little harder to separate fact from fiction, because the once-accurate guages have been permanently miscalibrated.

I’ve got to go back through my old journals to remember: When I manufactured these noises before, did the symptoms begin after the night I went suddenly and completely deaf? During the time I was on steroids in an attempt to recover my hearing? While I was waiting for brain surgery? Or after the tumor was removed?

I’ve put a lot of stuff out of my mind. That’s how we deal, you know?

But last night scared the bejeebers out of me. Something about it felt oh, so eerily familiar.

And not in a good way.

Posted by Katy on 07/29/06 at 08:33 AM

Fallible Comments...

That is scary, Katy. I'll be praying for you.
Posted by Jeanne Damoff on 07/29/06 at 09:20 AM
Ditto what Jeanne said...
Posted by Carrie K. on 07/29/06 at 11:30 AM
Don't things like that always happen on a Friday night, when you can't even try to call a doctor for an appointment for at least two days?

Praying for you Katy - for health, for peace, and for a quick doctor's appointment.
Posted by Chris A. on 07/29/06 at 11:53 AM
Thank you for the prayers, ladies. I haven't had a recurrence of this goofiness in the daylight hours. Man, I hope I imagined the whole thing! But I am particularly attuned to ear probs, cause I want to hang on to what remains. The tumor I had is called an acoustic neuroma. There's a condition in which a person sprouts these tumors on both sides of the head, called Neurofibromatosis Type 2. Once you've had one, they watch you closely for another to develop, as NF2 has other "stuff" associated with besides hearing nerve tumors.

Chris, you are so right! I spent half my Saturday getting back up to speed on my situation (thank you, google), in case I need to revisit it. While the good old otoneurologist is on the golf course!!! Sheesh.
Posted by Katy on 07/29/06 at 04:16 PM

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Personal blog of christian writer & fallible mom Katy McKenna Raymond in Kansas City, Missouri Katy is represented by Greg Johnson at WordServe Literary Read more Katy at LateBoomer.net Follow Katy on Twitter Follow Katy on Facebook 123 Recent Posts Try Becoming Brenda Starr Off Beat Scattered That’s It So I’ve Finally Signed With An Agent. Now What? The Spoon Sciatica Sweetheart A Woman’s Train of Thought Has No Caboose However much we own, we are all still living on borrowed time After all, when restaurants shrink portions, they don’t shrink prices. As with everything in life, balance is key. Slow down, you move too fast… Yeah, I know. I have issues. Search Advanced Search Syndicate Login E me at katy @ ngenius.com	Bejeebers “Did you hear that?” I’d been drifting off to sleep when the knocking happened. Who would be arriving at our house at nearly midnight? Doug was wide awake reading next to me. “Katy, you’ve got your good ear pressed down on the pillow. And I didn’t hear a thing.” Okay, he’s not always the most reliable witness on the block. He’s got some minor hearing loss himself, conveniently if I remember right in the frequency in which I speak. Also, if the cars are making weird noises, he insists it’s my imagination. Granted, I am largely unable to discern the direction a noise is originating from, but I can still tell if something’s about to blow. He can’t. But I digress. I must have been in that weird almost-asleep dreamy state where it’s easy to get confused about what’s real and what’s not. I chalked up the knocking to something akin to the Big Jerk that often happens right before you make sleep official. He turned off the light soon after he assured me no one was at the door, and fell promptly to sleep. I nearly did, too. But then I felt certain that the fan across the room must have been set to oscillate, because on a rather regular basis, the sound of it would diminish and then return. I got out of the bed to stop its movement and—you guessed it—the fan was stationary. The really weird thing was that as I’d be nearly asleep again, and somehow in the haze of semi-consciousness aware that the fan’s noise was diminishing, I would hear a new sound effect to take the place of the earlier knocking. Over the course of four hours or so—until 3 am—I heard drills, jackhammers, whooshes, taps, you name it, noises not based in reality and all with my supposedly hearing ear. And always with a corresponding sensation that, for those few seconds each episode lasted, I wasn’t hearing what I should have been hearing—the fan. I’ve had these sensations before, at some point during my brain tumor odyssey—which ultimately resulted in the removal of the tumor and complete deafness in my other ear (the one I started thinking of this morning as my “good ear”!). But this time, I don’t have a hearing ear with which to bounce off the strange symptoms in the affected ear, if that makes sense. I’m aurally more challenged than I was seven years ago. It feels a little harder to separate fact from fiction, because the once-accurate guages have been permanently miscalibrated. I’ve got to go back through my old journals to remember: When I manufactured these noises before, did the symptoms begin after the night I went suddenly and completely deaf? During the time I was on steroids in an attempt to recover my hearing? While I was waiting for brain surgery? Or after the tumor was removed? I’ve put a lot of stuff out of my mind. That’s how we deal, you know? But last night scared the bejeebers out of me. Something about it felt oh, so eerily familiar. And not in a good way. Posted by Katy on 07/29/06 at 08:33 AM Fallible Comments... That is scary, Katy. I'll be praying for you. Posted by Jeanne Damoff on 07/29/06 at 09:20 AM Ditto what Jeanne said... Posted by Carrie K. on 07/29/06 at 11:30 AM Don't things like that always happen on a Friday night, when you can't even try to call a doctor for an appointment for at least two days? Praying for you Katy - for health, for peace, and for a quick doctor's appointment. Posted by Chris A. on 07/29/06 at 11:53 AM Thank you for the prayers, ladies. I haven't had a recurrence of this goofiness in the daylight hours. Man, I hope I imagined the whole thing! But I am particularly attuned to ear probs, cause I want to hang on to what remains. The tumor I had is called an acoustic neuroma. There's a condition in which a person sprouts these tumors on both sides of the head, called Neurofibromatosis Type 2. Once you've had one, they watch you closely for another to develop, as NF2 has other "stuff" associated with besides hearing nerve tumors. Chris, you are so right! I spent half my Saturday getting back up to speed on my situation (thank you, google), in case I need to revisit it. While the good old otoneurologist is on the golf course!!! Sheesh. Posted by Katy on 07/29/06 at 04:16 PM Page 1 of 1 pages Commenting is not available in this weblog entry. Next entry: Follow Previous entry: Extracts Of Essences << Back to main


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Personal blog of christianwriter & fallible momKaty McKenna Raymondin Kansas City, Missouri

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Bejeebers

Personal blog of christian
writer & fallible mom
Katy McKenna Raymond
in Kansas City, Missouri