Bath Day For The Moms

“Who ratted me out?” It’s my mom on the phone. She’s furious, but I’m thinking you knew that.

We’ve been having a lot of trouble recently with the facility where my mother lives. So, conversations with the staff members and director are ongoing. One thing that needs to happen is a method needs to be established for verifying when/whether Mom is actually receiving the services she is paying for.

“I don’t know what you mean, Mom…Um, hold on for just a second. The other line is ringing.”

“Yes, this is the nurse at your mother-in-law’s facility. Adele won’t stop arguing with us about her bath. You need to call her—now.”

“Give me thirty seconds,” I say to the nurse, before switching back to my other Bathing Beauty.

Mom takes up where she left off. No memory loss whatsoever, at least not on this subject.

“You do, too, know what I mean! When Cha-Cha came in here to give me my bath—”

“Cha-Cha?” Sometimes, I have to take my laughs where I can get them.

“You heard me,” Mom says. “Cha-Cha tried to get me to sign a card to prove I was gettin’ a bath. Like I was a little kid or something.”

I’ll tell you right now, my mother is deathly afraid of water. She has panic attacks on Bath Day, for fear the dreadful stuff might splash on her face. The attendants can barely coerce Mom in and out, and it only happens twice a week. Less often, if Mom has her way.

Plus, Mom’s paranoid. She thinks we tattle on her when she’s naughty, instead of that we’re holding the facility accountable to meet her needs. She thinks if she’s having a sad day and sheds a tear, she’ll get reported. And that then they’ll put her out on the street.

Of course, just because she’s paranoid doesn’t mean everyone isn’t out to get her.

“Stay on the phone, Mom. I’ve got to use the other line. I’ll be right back.”

“I’m not going anywhere. And I’m not signin’ anything, either, bath or no bath.” Some days, Mom’s humor strikes me as dry.

I dial my mother-in-law’s number. “Adele, the nurse says you’re being stubborn.”

“I wanna take a bath. Without help. ALONE.”

“You know it’s too slippery. That’s why you need help…”

“I DON’T need help. I WANNA TAKE MY BATH ALONE!”

Adele loves her nurses, and she’d hate it if she caused any of them to get in trouble. That’s how I’m gonna play this when I get back to her.

“Can you stay on the line for just a minute?” I ask. “Don’t turn on the shower yet, OK?”

“I CAN’T HEAR YOU.” I hate to say it, but I could almost picture her fingers stuffed into her ears.

I switch back to my mother. “Mom, think about this. We’re just trying to make sure you get everything you’re paying for.”

“You ratted me out.” Dang if she didn’t sound like Jimmy Cagney. “I’ll have you know I’ve never had a dirty day in my life.”

“Congratulations. You ain’t gonna have a dirty day today, either.”

Then I pushed Adele’s button, in more ways than one.

“I’m getting in that bathtub by myself NOW, and you can’t stop me.” Adele is modest. Stubborn and modest. She abhors nakedness as much as my mother despises clothing.

“It’s the nurse’s job to help you. If you don’t let her do her job, she might get fired. Wouldn’t that be awful?”

“I don’t care! I wanna take my bath ALONE!”

“If you don’t let the nurse help you, I’m going to have to come over there and help you myself,” I say.

“Oh, no you don’t. I will NOT let you see me nak-nak-nak…” She can’t even say it, much less do it.

I put on my best Cagney voice, learned from my mom, the master. “Oh, yeah? Here’s lookin’ at you, kid.”

Two Moms. Two phone lines. Two baths. And me.

I believe my work here is done.

Posted by Katy on 02/13/08 at 06:01 AM

Fallible Comments...

Katy,
Whew. You need a day at the spa to forget all this bath stuff and concentrate on relaxation.
Posted by suzan on 02/13/08 at 09:43 AM
Suzan--I entered a spa once. Purely for novel research, though. My protag has spaphobia and is given a gift card for a day's worth of treatments. She's completely freaked out, as I would be!!! My character survies, and actually thrives. I don't think I could handle it!!! Weird, I know. But relaxation scares me a little.... :)
Posted by Katy on 02/13/08 at 09:52 AM
I know what you mean. Skeptical me felt the same, but then someone gave me a gift cert for a theraputic massage. It was great, so I kept going back every month. I can feel an improvement in my Fibro symptoms.

So I'm letting go of my stress about it purely for medical reasons. I used to do the rest of the spa stuff like facials, etc. years ago when I thought it was important. I've since rearranged my priorities. Now I seek pain free and comfortable, not pampered and gorgeous....
Posted by suzan on 02/16/08 at 01:46 PM
Suzan--If I ever submit to a massage or whatever, it will be for the reasons you describe--stress relief and fibro. I have done acupunture, on the other hand. And weirdly, I did find it relaxing.
Posted by Katy on 02/16/08 at 05:30 PM
A good spa is like heaven. You're like a brand new person when you are done. It works wonders for both your body and mind.
Posted by tubs on 05/12/08 at 09:54 PM
garage not only adds value to your property, it provides additional space without the stress of a costly move
Posted by fuel pumps on 12/30/09 at 02:31 PM
excercise can be a good stress reliever,especially if it is outdoors.
make time for yourself,and do things you enjoy,that take your mind off things,that cause you stress.
Posted by Bridges To Recovery on 01/30/10 at 11:28 PM
My protag has spaphobia and is given a gift card for a day’s worth of treatments. She’s completely freaked out, as I would be!!! My character survies, and actually thrives. I don’t think I could handle it!!! Weird, I know. But relaxation scares me a little
Posted by bilet fiyatları on 03/25/10 at 05:18 AM
I know about the one website which is providing such offers that is according to your need.that is the only place where you can get online coupons for groceries and health & beauty aids.the website is kristisway2save.com.enjoy your shopping.good luck
Posted by Agespots on 08/16/10 at 03:52 AM
You have all inspired me to focus on providing more informative and resource type link building posts in the future, so stay tuned for more soon.
Posted by Ooty on 08/16/10 at 05:08 AM

Page 1 of 1 pages

Commenting is not available in this weblog entry.

Next entry: Flummoxed

Previous entry: A Very Super Tuesday For One Fallible Woman

<< Back to main


		more fallible attitude »

Personal blog of christian writer & fallible mom Katy McKenna Raymond in Kansas City, Missouri Katy is represented by Greg Johnson at WordServe Literary Read more Katy at LateBoomer.net Follow Katy on Twitter Follow Katy on Facebook 123 Recent Posts Try Becoming Brenda Starr Off Beat Scattered That’s It So I’ve Finally Signed With An Agent. Now What? The Spoon Sciatica Sweetheart A Woman’s Train of Thought Has No Caboose However much we own, we are all still living on borrowed time After all, when restaurants shrink portions, they don’t shrink prices. As with everything in life, balance is key. Slow down, you move too fast… Yeah, I know. I have issues. Search Advanced Search Syndicate Login E me at katy @ ngenius.com	Bath Day For The Moms “Who ratted me out?” It’s my mom on the phone. She’s furious, but I’m thinking you knew that. We’ve been having a lot of trouble recently with the facility where my mother lives. So, conversations with the staff members and director are ongoing. One thing that needs to happen is a method needs to be established for verifying when/whether Mom is actually receiving the services she is paying for. “I don’t know what you mean, Mom…Um, hold on for just a second. The other line is ringing.” “Yes, this is the nurse at your mother-in-law’s facility. Adele won’t stop arguing with us about her bath. You need to call her—now.” “Give me thirty seconds,” I say to the nurse, before switching back to my other Bathing Beauty. Mom takes up where she left off. No memory loss whatsoever, at least not on this subject. “You do, too, know what I mean! When Cha-Cha came in here to give me my bath—” “Cha-Cha?” Sometimes, I have to take my laughs where I can get them. “You heard me,” Mom says. “Cha-Cha tried to get me to sign a card to prove I was gettin’ a bath. Like I was a little kid or something.” I’ll tell you right now, my mother is deathly afraid of water. She has panic attacks on Bath Day, for fear the dreadful stuff might splash on her face. The attendants can barely coerce Mom in and out, and it only happens twice a week. Less often, if Mom has her way. Plus, Mom’s paranoid. She thinks we tattle on her when she’s naughty, instead of that we’re holding the facility accountable to meet her needs. She thinks if she’s having a sad day and sheds a tear, she’ll get reported. And that then they’ll put her out on the street. Of course, just because she’s paranoid doesn’t mean everyone isn’t out to get her. “Stay on the phone, Mom. I’ve got to use the other line. I’ll be right back.” “I’m not going anywhere. And I’m not signin’ anything, either, bath or no bath.” Some days, Mom’s humor strikes me as dry. I dial my mother-in-law’s number. “Adele, the nurse says you’re being stubborn.” “I wanna take a bath. Without help. ALONE.” “You know it’s too slippery. That’s why you need help…” “I DON’T need help. I WANNA TAKE MY BATH ALONE!” Adele loves her nurses, and she’d hate it if she caused any of them to get in trouble. That’s how I’m gonna play this when I get back to her. “Can you stay on the line for just a minute?” I ask. “Don’t turn on the shower yet, OK?” “I CAN’T HEAR YOU.” I hate to say it, but I could almost picture her fingers stuffed into her ears. I switch back to my mother. “Mom, think about this. We’re just trying to make sure you get everything you’re paying for.” “You ratted me out.” Dang if she didn’t sound like Jimmy Cagney. “I’ll have you know I’ve never had a dirty day in my life.” “Congratulations. You ain’t gonna have a dirty day today, either.” Then I pushed Adele’s button, in more ways than one. “I’m getting in that bathtub by myself NOW, and you can’t stop me.” Adele is modest. Stubborn and modest. She abhors nakedness as much as my mother despises clothing. “It’s the nurse’s job to help you. If you don’t let her do her job, she might get fired. Wouldn’t that be awful?” “I don’t care! I wanna take my bath ALONE!” “If you don’t let the nurse help you, I’m going to have to come over there and help you myself,” I say. “Oh, no you don’t. I will NOT let you see me nak-nak-nak…” She can’t even say it, much less do it. I put on my best Cagney voice, learned from my mom, the master. “Oh, yeah? Here’s lookin’ at you, kid.” Two Moms. Two phone lines. Two baths. And me. I believe my work here is done. Posted by Katy on 02/13/08 at 06:01 AM Fallible Comments... Katy, Whew. You need a day at the spa to forget all this bath stuff and concentrate on relaxation. Posted by suzan on 02/13/08 at 09:43 AM Suzan--I entered a spa once. Purely for novel research, though. My protag has spaphobia and is given a gift card for a day's worth of treatments. She's completely freaked out, as I would be!!! My character survies, and actually thrives. I don't think I could handle it!!! Weird, I know. But relaxation scares me a little.... :) Posted by Katy on 02/13/08 at 09:52 AM I know what you mean. Skeptical me felt the same, but then someone gave me a gift cert for a theraputic massage. It was great, so I kept going back every month. I can feel an improvement in my Fibro symptoms. So I'm letting go of my stress about it purely for medical reasons. I used to do the rest of the spa stuff like facials, etc. years ago when I thought it was important. I've since rearranged my priorities. Now I seek pain free and comfortable, not pampered and gorgeous.... Posted by suzan on 02/16/08 at 01:46 PM Suzan--If I ever submit to a massage or whatever, it will be for the reasons you describe--stress relief and fibro. I have done acupunture, on the other hand. And weirdly, I did find it relaxing. Posted by Katy on 02/16/08 at 05:30 PM A good spa is like heaven. You're like a brand new person when you are done. It works wonders for both your body and mind. Posted by tubs on 05/12/08 at 09:54 PM garage not only adds value to your property, it provides additional space without the stress of a costly move Posted by fuel pumps on 12/30/09 at 02:31 PM excercise can be a good stress reliever,especially if it is outdoors. make time for yourself,and do things you enjoy,that take your mind off things,that cause you stress. Posted by Bridges To Recovery on 01/30/10 at 11:28 PM My protag has spaphobia and is given a gift card for a day’s worth of treatments. She’s completely freaked out, as I would be!!! My character survies, and actually thrives. I don’t think I could handle it!!! Weird, I know. But relaxation scares me a little Posted by bilet fiyatları on 03/25/10 at 05:18 AM I know about the one website which is providing such offers that is according to your need.that is the only place where you can get online coupons for groceries and health & beauty aids.the website is kristisway2save.com.enjoy your shopping.good luck Posted by Agespots on 08/16/10 at 03:52 AM You have all inspired me to focus on providing more informative and resource type link building posts in the future, so stay tuned for more soon. Posted by Ooty on 08/16/10 at 05:08 AM Page 1 of 1 pages Commenting is not available in this weblog entry. Next entry: Flummoxed Previous entry: A Very Super Tuesday For One Fallible Woman << Back to main


copyright 2011, ngenius media inc.

Personal blog of christianwriter & fallible momKaty McKenna Raymondin Kansas City, Missouri

Recent Posts

Search

Syndicate

Bath Day For The Moms

Personal blog of christian
writer & fallible mom
Katy McKenna Raymond
in Kansas City, Missouri