Baby’s Breath

A candlelight vigil was held last night, here at a church on the Plaza, to mark the 30th anniversary of Roe vs. Wade.

The NBC affiliate here called it a "celebration"--one of several planned for our area. I thought it was a strange choice of words, unless by it they meant to celebrate the millions of tiny lives who are no more.

Wouldn't "commemoration" be the better word?

The reporter got a little more specific then, and plainly stated that the candles would be lit on the pro-choice side of the aisle. They were the ones celebrating.

I was stunned. And then I remembered.

"Doug, I need you," I called to my sleeping husband of just one year. I was fourteen weeks pregnant with our first baby, a son. I had awakened from a sound sleep, drenched, and had stumbled to the bathroom in the darkness.

Doug turned on a small light, and hurried to where I sat weeping on the toilet, my fists clenched.

"What is it?" he asked, as he knelt down on the floor beside me.

Slowly, I opened one hand to reveal our baby, our little boy, who had fallen from my body in one perfect piece.

We cried together then, and held our own private vigil. We prayed aloud and gave our baby back to God.

It's been twenty-five years, and sometimes, even now, I swear I feel his breath upon my hand.

Posted by Katy on 01/22/03 at 08:25 AM

Fallible Comments...

Katy, that is so incredibly sad.<br><br>My best friend is trying to get pregnant with her husband-to-be at the moment. I hope nothing bad happens.
-----
Posted by Ivy on 01/22/03 at 08:54 AM
Oh, God....<br><br>My heart aches for you. Thank you for sharing that with your audience.
Posted by Maria on 01/23/03 at 09:54 PM
oh, katy. i've had three pregnancies, three children. i have many women in my life who have experienced losing a baby far too early, and i am always at a loss for words, it is unimaginable and unrelateable to me. thank you for your heartbreaking account, sharing your bit of history, that part of your family. sure helps to make the 'celebrations' last week all the more confusing...
Posted by lisa on 01/25/03 at 01:49 PM
Very confusing. I thought at first it was just my local news using that word, but became aware the next day of national news stories also spouting it. It was handed down "from the top" to media outlets nationwide, and they WENT WITH IT--that's what amazed me. Can't news directors have the good sense to read and interpret language--and alter it, if necessary? As for me, I've never been more sure about the sacredness of pre-born life until I held that little boy...
Posted by katy on 01/25/03 at 04:03 PM
Lisa--Your friend Scotty was born in between the two babies we lost. The second lost child never developed properly like the first one had. But by then, it was too late to convince me that my child was just a "product on conception." I'd held the truth.
Posted by katy on 01/25/03 at 04:09 PM
You girls are kind. Thank you.
Posted by katy on 01/25/03 at 10:33 PM
"our battle is not with flesh and blood"...spiritual blindness is the only logical explaination i can think of for that argument, that they're really not a life before the moment of birth. it's just too ridiculous, proven too obviously wrong. planned parenthood doesn't exactly promote the use of ultrasounds and dopplers to hear the heartbeat when they're doing their 'counseling', though...it's sad.
Posted by lisa on 01/26/03 at 03:40 PM
Woudn't it be great if infant development in utero were taught in high school biology? A lot of pregnant women are so unaware of the basic facts...
Posted by katy on 01/27/03 at 03:21 AM
A friend of mine had to deliver her stillborn on Sunday. She was 7 months along, and went through 36 hours of labor to deliver the baby girl. It is just such a horrible tragedy....
Posted by Bridget on 01/30/03 at 01:51 PM
Oh, that's terrible! I can't imagine the courage it would take to face delivering a stillborn baby. They say mother's forget the pain of labor when they see the baby (I've never forgotten, though...) but her pain will be magnified. I'm sorry. Give her lots of love.
Posted by katy on 01/30/03 at 06:28 PM
Thank you for sharing this story. The visual was just so stunning and overwhelming that I had to sit back and wipe away a tear.
Posted by The Barrister on 01/31/03 at 02:56 PM
Your story is so sad and true. The hardest thing I ever have to do is to tell someone "I'm sorry, but I think your baby has died" - and it doesn't matter if they are 8 weeks or 38 weeks along. We all cry.
Posted by alicia huntley on 01/31/03 at 07:45 PM
Barrister--I appreciate you sharing it on your site! (I'm really enjoying all the cool Catholic sites.) Thanks.
Posted by katy on 02/01/03 at 07:47 AM
Alicia--My daughter has worked a bit in neo-natal intensive care (as a tech), and loves it. But I wouldn't envy her having to deliver such news.....there's nothing like it. Thank you.
Posted by katy on 02/01/03 at 07:49 AM
As a side note, when Doug took me and the tiny boy to the Catholic hospital, the staff baptized my baby. It was such a beautiful and gentle gesture, a kiss of life.
Posted by katy on 02/01/03 at 07:53 AM
Thank you so much for sharing such a personal and heartbreaking moment with us. It touched me deeply and profoundly. May God bless you and your precious family for reaching out of your pain to touch others.
Posted by Doris on 12/26/04 at 06:30 PM

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Personal blog of christian writer & fallible mom Katy McKenna Raymond in Kansas City, Missouri Katy is represented by Greg Johnson at WordServe Literary Read more Katy at LateBoomer.net Follow Katy on Twitter Follow Katy on Facebook 123 Recent Posts Try Becoming Brenda Starr Off Beat Scattered That’s It So I’ve Finally Signed With An Agent. Now What? The Spoon Sciatica Sweetheart A Woman’s Train of Thought Has No Caboose However much we own, we are all still living on borrowed time After all, when restaurants shrink portions, they don’t shrink prices. As with everything in life, balance is key. Slow down, you move too fast… Yeah, I know. I have issues. Search Advanced Search Syndicate Login E me at katy @ ngenius.com	Baby’s Breath A candlelight vigil was held last night, here at a church on the Plaza, to mark the 30th anniversary of Roe vs. Wade. The NBC affiliate here called it a "celebration"--one of several planned for our area. I thought it was a strange choice of words, unless by it they meant to celebrate the millions of tiny lives who are no more. Wouldn't "commemoration" be the better word? The reporter got a little more specific then, and plainly stated that the candles would be lit on the pro-choice side of the aisle. They were the ones celebrating. I was stunned. And then I remembered. "Doug, I need you," I called to my sleeping husband of just one year. I was fourteen weeks pregnant with our first baby, a son. I had awakened from a sound sleep, drenched, and had stumbled to the bathroom in the darkness. Doug turned on a small light, and hurried to where I sat weeping on the toilet, my fists clenched. "What is it?" he asked, as he knelt down on the floor beside me. Slowly, I opened one hand to reveal our baby, our little boy, who had fallen from my body in one perfect piece. We cried together then, and held our own private vigil. We prayed aloud and gave our baby back to God. It's been twenty-five years, and sometimes, even now, I swear I feel his breath upon my hand. Posted by Katy on 01/22/03 at 08:25 AM Fallible Comments... Katy, that is so incredibly sad.<br><br>My best friend is trying to get pregnant with her husband-to-be at the moment. I hope nothing bad happens. ----- Posted by Ivy on 01/22/03 at 08:54 AM Oh, God....<br><br>My heart aches for you. Thank you for sharing that with your audience. Posted by Maria on 01/23/03 at 09:54 PM oh, katy. i've had three pregnancies, three children. i have many women in my life who have experienced losing a baby far too early, and i am always at a loss for words, it is unimaginable and unrelateable to me. thank you for your heartbreaking account, sharing your bit of history, that part of your family. sure helps to make the 'celebrations' last week all the more confusing... Posted by lisa on 01/25/03 at 01:49 PM Very confusing. I thought at first it was just my local news using that word, but became aware the next day of national news stories also spouting it. It was handed down "from the top" to media outlets nationwide, and they WENT WITH IT--that's what amazed me. Can't news directors have the good sense to read and interpret language--and alter it, if necessary? As for me, I've never been more sure about the sacredness of pre-born life until I held that little boy... Posted by katy on 01/25/03 at 04:03 PM Lisa--Your friend Scotty was born in between the two babies we lost. The second lost child never developed properly like the first one had. But by then, it was too late to convince me that my child was just a "product on conception." I'd held the truth. Posted by katy on 01/25/03 at 04:09 PM You girls are kind. Thank you. Posted by katy on 01/25/03 at 10:33 PM "our battle is not with flesh and blood"...spiritual blindness is the only logical explaination i can think of for that argument, that they're really not a life before the moment of birth. it's just too ridiculous, proven too obviously wrong. planned parenthood doesn't exactly promote the use of ultrasounds and dopplers to hear the heartbeat when they're doing their 'counseling', though...it's sad. Posted by lisa on 01/26/03 at 03:40 PM Woudn't it be great if infant development in utero were taught in high school biology? A lot of pregnant women are so unaware of the basic facts... Posted by katy on 01/27/03 at 03:21 AM A friend of mine had to deliver her stillborn on Sunday. She was 7 months along, and went through 36 hours of labor to deliver the baby girl. It is just such a horrible tragedy.... Posted by Bridget on 01/30/03 at 01:51 PM Oh, that's terrible! I can't imagine the courage it would take to face delivering a stillborn baby. They say mother's forget the pain of labor when they see the baby (I've never forgotten, though...) but her pain will be magnified. I'm sorry. Give her lots of love. Posted by katy on 01/30/03 at 06:28 PM Thank you for sharing this story. The visual was just so stunning and overwhelming that I had to sit back and wipe away a tear. Posted by The Barrister on 01/31/03 at 02:56 PM Your story is so sad and true. The hardest thing I ever have to do is to tell someone "I'm sorry, but I think your baby has died" - and it doesn't matter if they are 8 weeks or 38 weeks along. We all cry. Posted by alicia huntley on 01/31/03 at 07:45 PM Barrister--I appreciate you sharing it on your site! (I'm really enjoying all the cool Catholic sites.) Thanks. Posted by katy on 02/01/03 at 07:47 AM Alicia--My daughter has worked a bit in neo-natal intensive care (as a tech), and loves it. But I wouldn't envy her having to deliver such news.....there's nothing like it. Thank you. Posted by katy on 02/01/03 at 07:49 AM As a side note, when Doug took me and the tiny boy to the Catholic hospital, the staff baptized my baby. It was such a beautiful and gentle gesture, a kiss of life. Posted by katy on 02/01/03 at 07:53 AM Thank you so much for sharing such a personal and heartbreaking moment with us. It touched me deeply and profoundly. May God bless you and your precious family for reaching out of your pain to touch others. Posted by Doris on 12/26/04 at 06:30 PM Page 1 of 1 pages Commenting is not available in this weblog entry. Next entry: A Real Hoot Previous entry: Old Friends, New Again << Back to main


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Personal blog of christianwriter & fallible momKaty McKenna Raymondin Kansas City, Missouri

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Baby’s Breath

Personal blog of christian
writer & fallible mom
Katy McKenna Raymond
in Kansas City, Missouri